Q&A: Spouse Blames Xbox For Lack Of Attention In Relationship

Soul Screwed Series

Xbox One Controller Beside Three Xbox One CasesAnthony

"Hey. So I am writing because I am going through a situation that I can't quite grasp. My baby mama and I have been together for five years and we now share three beautiful children. Before the kids came along we had a superb relationship. We talked consistently, watched movies, spent quality time together, and showed affection. She has started accusing me of being more involved with the Xbox games I play than I am with her. In my defense, I have argued her lack of initiation. I get off work and come straight home to her and the kids. She goes about her day as if I am not around and spends 90% of her time glued to her phone. I have stopped asking or even reaching for the device because it starts over the top arguments and fights. I just don't understand women. So instead I retreat to the game to unwind and end my day. As a man, I feel if she honestly wanted my attention she'd grasp it if you know what I mean, however, she doesn't say anything until she hears a female voice on the game speak to me. All of her friends and family have rallied against me calling me disrespectful, childish, and as you can imagine everything but my God-given name. If I am wrong, how can I fix the problem?" -DerrickR

Hey Derrick. Let me start by saying your job isn't to understand women, it is to understand your woman. There seems to be a major lack of communication on both ends of the relationship as well as too many outside opinions from your girlfriend's associates. There is nothing wrong with having leisure time to yourselves, however, it does take two to be involved. On your behalf, you can try initiating little moments on your own. For instance, leave a sticky note on the bathroom mirror asking her to join you for movie night when you get home. It's the little things that make the biggest impact on our lives. You could send flowers to the house with a card that says "just because" or breakfast delivered for her and the kids. These are just examples and ideas that you could think about, but my point is to do what you can and show that you are trying. I truly hope she puts in the effort too. Sending you good vibes. I hope everything works out for the two of you. -SSS

Is Derrick's girlfriend to blame or does Derrick need to let the Xbox go?

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