How Does A Woman Accept Her Cousin's Newborns After Her Aunt Praised Her Miscarriage?

Soul Screwed Series
A Person Holding An UltrasoundTima Miroshnichenko

"About four years ago I, unfortunately, miscarried my baby. Doctors have told me that I may not be able to have a child and this was extremely heartbreaking as one can only imagine. My stepfather's sister, my aunt, made a rude comment one day during a heated argument that "God and my own body hated me that is why my body killed my baby." She went on and on to say that I would never have a child and that because of that I was less than a woman. I thought that I had let that comment go and forgiven her for it but however recently her daughter, my cousin, who was told the same unfortunate news once before recently just gave birth to two beautiful twin boys. I can not bring myself to visit and see the kids though I have definitely sent my congratulations and blessings through hearsay. It isn't that I blame my cousin nor her kids for my misfortune, however, her children are now a reminder of my own loss and her mother's words toward me. Am I wrong for holding this grudge and if so how would you move past the level of hurt I am feeling?" -Rayshawnda

Hey Rayshawnda. I am truly sorry for your loss. A miscarriage is an extremely emotional event that no one should blame you for. I hope and pray for the healing of your body, heart, and mind. I do not know your aunt, but my hypothesis is that she was extremely miserable and as we all know misery loves company. The hurtful words were probably said because your aunt was most likely hurting herself from the fear of not having her own grandchild. That gave her no reason to place such hatred and vile thoughts toward you. Your cousin was blessed and if she did no harm to you why make her suffer as well. She is not her mother. I do believe that you have to forgive simply because despite your feelings for the adults in this situation, those two beautiful kings have nothing to do with that hatred and they deserve to be loved and cherished by their entire families. Is your cousin aware of the comments her mother made toward you? Do you feel it would make you feel better if the topic was aired out? Reach out to your cousin. Ask her if she needs a hand or if she is interested in brunch. Your aunt does not have to be involved in your relationship and if your cousin insists on making her a part of it then love them from a distance. Your feelings and mental health are just as important as anyone else's. Don't give up on becoming a mother either. Your time will surely come my Queen. I am sending you the best of wishes and good vibes. -SSS

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