My sister and her boyfriend were having financial difficulties and she needed a place to stay with her baby. Me being the older sibling, I of course opened my home to her and her family. I was not financially stable, had five kids in a two-bedroom, and was working crazy shifts. Still, I felt that despite what I was going through I wasn't going to leave my sister and nephew out on the streets homeless. We would all just have to figure it out and struggle together. After two months my landlord started complaining about my sister being on the property and not on the lease ( despite multiple other residents doing the same thing) and he evicted me. With two weeks to vacate the property, I desperately went searching for another apartment or duplex. During this time my lights started getting turned off and times became hard as a mother. My sister in turn went to a relative's house with her boyfriend and baby most nights to sleep comfortably. Two days before I was to vacate the property, I called my people because my sister hadn't been back to the house for about five days. My younger cousin told me that she had moved in with them and was staying there. Confused I hung up the phone and went to check the back room where she was sleeping and sure enough all of her belongings were gone. I called my sister and asked her why she didn't tell me she found somewhere to stay or at least offer for us to follow. She in turn told me that my relative told her that her little family was welcome but I couldn't come with my kids. I couldn't believe she disregarded my children's welfare.
"So you were just going to let me and my kids be homeless when the reason I lost my house was for helping you?"
I went home and cried so hard. Fortunately, I was approved for an apartment after staying a week at the salvation army. My sister has yet again reached out for my assistance, but this time I hesitated. I don't want to leave my nephews( she now has two kids) out to be homeless especially because they are just innocent kids, but I can't mess over myself again in the process. Should I allow the kids only or help my sister too? -Becca
Hey Becca! I believe you should help your sister. That does not imply she has to move in with you. I am sure organizations such as the Salvation Army that assisted you and many others have room and means to assist her. Your sister will always look towards you for rescue if you keep allowing her to and it sounds like it is time for her to be responsible. You can help people sometimes by showing them how to help themselves. Your sister has to learn this because you will not always be there. You have responsibilities of your own. Five of them. Do what is important and best for you and your household first. By doing this you are being a role model for everyone, and you are discontinuing the abuse your sister is implicating because honestly, she seems to be using you. I hope the decision you make is the best for your children. -SSS
Would you help your sibling?