My husband and I of ten years have officially been separated for the past two years now. We have beautiful twin daughters, one who was born with a disability at birth. A while back my husband was arrested on drug-related charges and was sentenced to time. It was during this time frame that I learned of my husband's infidelities. Or should I just say I was forced to accept because truth is told, I knew something wasn't right deep inside beforehand. I faithfully wrote letters and sent pictures and made sure he had money on his books for the commissary. On several attempts to visit with our kids in tow, I was rejected and denied visitation because he had already accepted visitation from another party. During my final attempt to make his visitation, I questioned the correctional officer about my husband's visitation records only to be told he was unable to give me this information, even though I argued that I was his wife. As I stood in the lobby area a woman I recognized all too well filed through with a group leaving. She was someone my husband and I had previously fallen out about due to cheating allegations. She paused and watched me while waiting to receive her belongings. I stood there with one daughter holding tight onto my wrist as the other sat oblivious to her surroundings in her stroller and gawked at the little boy who undeniably wore my husband's face. I felt like Mary J Blige when she sang, "How could I argue with her holding a baby with eyes like yours...gotta face reality." I grabbed my girls and left without saying a word. My husband was eventually released and sure enough, he returned to his old habits and his new family (she is said to be expecting again). My husband recently purchased a house on the other side of town for them, mind you, he has not helped me support the girls one bit. While they sit in a nice four-bedroom home, I reside in a two-bedroom low-income government building. A friend and coworker of mines recently told me during our shift that because I am still legally married to my husband I can rightfully move into the home and ask the other woman to leave, forcing my husband to follow suit or take the house to court and fight for it. Would I be wrong to go this route even though I wholeheartedly feel my kids and I deserve it? -Yasmin
Hey Yasmin! I hope you and your girls are doing well. What you have experienced tells me that you are a strong woman and I salute you, queen. I know that it had to take a lot probably not to react when you initially saw her during visitation. There is an old saying that you don't know how you would react in a situation until you are forced to. By saying that I am relaying to the fact that I have not and could not imagine a situation or decision this great. I have always said that I would never put a man on child support, etc. because I felt that you shouldn't force someone to be a man. However, your situation is nothing of that sort and I would not fault you for your decision on fighting for the home. A mother fights for her offspring and goes through hail storms to protect them. Your husband and his mistress will certainly reap what they have sown rather it be by your doing or karmas. My advice to you is that no matter the decision you decide to make, protect your girls from any negativity because it is apparent their father doesn't care. you should most definitely consider a legal divorce soon. I hope everything works out in your favor. Sending prayers your way! -SSS
Should Yasmin fight for the house or just leave it and divorce her ex-husband? Would you have spoken up during the visitation?