The Biggest Mistake Most Men Make

Sira M.

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It’s a warm summer afternoon, you are chilling together on the beach, watching the sunset. She looks at you and tells you “I love you.”

“I love you too baby,” you reply. She smiles at you, and you can see how much she loves you only looking her in the eye.

But you are also thinking about how long it will take to go back home. You just want to go. You are thinking about how you can tell her in the right way that you have a long day tomorrow and want to go home, without making her upset. You spent one hour together but you are already tired and want to leave. Now.

It's not that you don’t love her, it’s just that you have other priorities right now, and for you, the time you spent together is enough. Yes, it’s enough, maybe too much. At least for you.

You feel she wants to spend more time together, so you promise her you will see her again soon, and you’ll spend more time together next time.

Now you really have to go.

She’s going nowhere

“If they don’t respect, appreciate and value you, then they don’t deserve you.”- Robert Tew

You have been together for more than one year, you don’t feel the need to surprise her anymore.

You don’t text her as much as before, and you don’t buy her flowers anymore.

You don’t have to. At least, this is how you feel.

You love to spend time with her, but let’s be honest, sometimes one or two hours are enough. Maybe too much. You don’t need to go out of your way to make her happy and to make her feel desired, because you know she loves you and that she’s going nowhere.

Because she never complains. She never goes anywhere.

Every time you spend time with her, that moment comes. You spent enough time together and now you want to tell her “ok, I have to go now, I’ll see you on Friday,” and go out with your buddies or simply do your things. And you do it.

She doesn’t tell you anything, because she doesn’t want to fight, but you can see from her face that she was probably expecting a bit more than hanging out one hour.

But you promised your friends that you would watch the match together. They’re waiting for you. And the beers are waiting too.

Then she texts you. But her text can wait.

You are with your friends. “Hey honey, how are you?” She texts you and you see her text, but you feel too lazy to reply. If you reply she will text you again and you will have to reply to her second message.

You are holding a beer and watching the match. She can wait. In the end, she’s going nowhere, because she loves you.

She doesn’t text you anymore, because she respects your space and time, and knows you’re out with your buddies. She would never insist. Then after four hours, you remember she texted you, so you reply. “Hey hun, all good thanks.”

You don’t even ask how she is. You simply forget. You’re too busy. You’re having a great time in the end. Again: she can wait. She goes nowhere.

Finally Friday.

“Even the most caring people can get tired of being taken for granted.” - Nishan Panwar

It’s Friday. You finally see her. In the end, you were looking forward to it.

You are already thinking about how much time you are going to spend with her. Two hours. Maybe just one. With a good excuse, you can leave early and go see your buddies. Finally.

“Baby, I think I’ll leave earlier today. I have to see my friends later, we have to do a few things at Paul’s place. We’ll spend more time together next week, promise!”

You look at her in the eye. Her look is different. She never looked at you that way. Something feels just different.

“It’s over.” She says.

“Hey, wait a minute. What do you mean? It can’t be over. You can’t leave me! What happened?”

“We have been together for more than one year. You have been taking me for granted for the last ten months. This relationship doesn’t make me happy anymore. In fact, it never made me happy. I hoped for more than one year that you would change, that you would give me more attention.

This relationship doesn’t make me feel fulfilled. I’ve been waiting for almost a year for a romantic getaway with you. But you always have other things to do during the weekend. And anytime we’re together, you have to “leave earlier.”

You always feel tired or with a headache, and I always have to be understanding and let you go.

For the last 10 months, I’ve barely seen you once or twice a week, and we don’t spend more than two or three hours together. I don’t know what’s wrong with this relationship.

The only thing I know is I’m not happy and I don’t want to get closer to someone who clearly doesn’t know what he wants. Because it hurts. It hurts too much.

Things should feel easy. But for me, it feels this relationship is a constant struggle.

I’m sorry, it’s over.”

“There is absolutely nothing that can be taken for granted in this world.”- Robert Anton Wilson

You just realized your biggest mistake was taking her for granted during the whole relationship and assuming she wouldn’t go anywhere.

And you just realized how important she is for you. You wish you could go back in time and fix things.

You want to start the relationship over and show her with your actions how much you love her. You want to spend time with her, more than one hour on Sundays before seeing your friends.

Now you want her back, and you hate yourself for having taken her for granted. But she took her decision.

And that decision is final. She won't change her mind.

It’s over. She can’t wait anymore.

“Staying with someone who doesn’t appreciate you isn’t loyalty, its stupidity.” – Anonymous

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Writer | Coach | Proud Amazonian | https://www.linkedin.com/in/sirams/

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