Elgin, IL

Elgin Funeral Parlor Takes an "Old School" Approach to Sales

Sherry McGuinn

As in old school for us "old folks"

Uh...NO thanks!Source: Free-Images.Com

This is when you know the sh!t gets real. Or, "surreal," take your pick.

Everyone gets solicited up the wazoo these days. Whether it be hardcore junk mail, spam in our inboxes, or Robo-calls, there's no getting away from the fact that many businesses, some legit, others, not so, are pulling out all the stops to get a share of our hard-earned money.

In fact, a major percentage of the mail we receive is immediately thrown into the recycling bin as most of it is as "junk." From life insurance to telecoms to dental practices, everyone has

In some respects, I can understand why they're doing it, even if their tactics suck. The pandemic has taken its toll not only on lives but on businesses, everywhere. But, damn! A funeral home? Really? With everything else that's going on, who the hell needs to be reminded of their mortality?

Of course, they're probably targeting folks of a certain age, and as my husband and I meet that criteria, it's no wonder we "got the call." Or, the mail piece.

But, that said, I'm angry. Really angry. I'm sick and tired of having my privacy violated by these insensitive jerks. Especially, this mortuary. Because they're taking advantage of the fears we all face. "What if, and when?" And, "Will I or my family be prepared?"

The next thing you know, funeral homes like this one, will be including coupons and/or promo codes with their mailings and emails.

"Buy one, get one." Just think: You and a loved one can get planted or cremated for the price of a single disposal.

All kidding aside, Covid has impacted the funeral industry, and not in the way you'd expect, as people are dying alone, because funerals, such as they were, have been vastly scaled-down due to state laws limiting the number of people who can "gather," and consequently, people need to make a living any way they can, hence the rather unconventional marketing tactics.

According to CNBC, as the virus has spread coast-to-coast, some funeral directors are even offering customers "virtual services," as well as allowing families to hold a public memorial service at a later date, free of charge. Still, many families are opting out of traditional services and choosing cremation for their loved ones, instead.

The National Funeral Directors Association shares the following: The median cost of a traditional burial service with viewing is $7,150, where the median cost of a cremation service with viewing is $5,150. When money is tight, as it is for so many of us now, this is a significant difference.

Even keeping all of the above in mind, I can't help but feel, as stated earlier, that this is an invasion of privacy. I'm happy to receive solicitations from local eateries as they normally include coupons, which are always appreciated, and residents like myself need to support them, but I draw the line at funeral homes.

If this particular business wants to waste time and money junk-mailing me, they can have at it, but their missives will go unopened and straight into the recycle bin. "Dust to dust," as it were.

Anyway, I have enough demons keeping me up at night.

How do you feel about this?

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My goal is to educate, entertain, make you laugh, and above all, make you think. I will be running the gamut as far as my articles go because I have a restless mind and I allow it to ramble where and when it wants. I hope you enjoy what I'm looking forward to sharing with you. If so, I'd love for you to follow me. Thanks for reading.

Chicago, IL

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