Surprising Things You May Not Know About Becoming a Widow

Shelley Wenger
Photo byShelley Wenger at Canva

Becoming a widow can be the hardest thing that you may ever go through. Not only are you losing the person that you love the most, but your children have also lost a parent. 

You may be expecting some big changes, but there are plenty of things that you may find surprising when it comes to becoming a widow. Here are some of them. 

You will probably feel more alone than you have in a long time. Becoming a widow is going to be harder than you ever imagined. And you don’t even have the one person who promised to stand beside you for the rest of your life. This means that you are going to have to deal with everything on your own, and this may make you feel like you are alone! 

You have to expect people to say really stupid things around you. When you become a widow, nobody really knows what to say to you. Sorry for your loss just doesn’t seem enough when it comes to losing your husband or wife. 

In fact, you are going to have to deal with people who avoid you. Many of your so-called friends may decide to hide from you, instead of saying something wrong. They may skip an aisle or two at the grocery store instead of just saying hello.

You may have people staring at you. Though you don’t want to be the person that everyone stares at and pities, the truth is that it is going to happen when you leave your home. 

Though you don’t want to be alone, dealing with your family and friends may feel like too much. As your whole world changes, your family and friends may not understand why you don’t answer their phone calls or text messages. They just want to be there for you, only they don’t understand how you may not have the energy to deal with anything extra during this stressful point in your life. 

That being said, it is important to remember that you are not alone. You have plenty of family and friends who will do whatever they can to make sure that you have the support that you need during this time. 

Let them cook meals for you and stop by just to give you a hug. If you need someone to watch your children, it should be with someone that they trust, like family and friends. Need someone to talk to before making any big changes? I am sure that you have someone that you trust enough to talk about your options with. 

It may help to remember that your family and friends have no idea what you are going through, unless they have also lost a spouse or partner. They mean well, but they simply have no idea what you are going through. This means that they are going to say dumb things, avoid you at times, and simply be awkward around you for a time. They may even give you advice, but you don’t have to follow any of it. You are going to have to deal with this in your own way. 

You are never going to be the same person again. You are going to find joy and happiness again, though you are forever changed when you lose a spouse. It is going to take time and some hard work, but your life will improve. You just won’t be the same. You won’t ever forget your love and this difficult time, so you will probably look at life a little differently! 

Becoming a widow is going to completely change your life. Not only are you suffering, but your children are too! You have also lost your rock and guiding light. It is going to be hard, but you will get through it. 

You just might have to deal with some things that you never expected. Some of your family and friends might not know how to talk to you, so they may say some dumb stuff or avoid you whenever possible. You may also feel like everyone is looking at you when you leave your home. But it will get better. Your true family and friends will stick by you, and life will become a little better. 


If you are looking for some more tips to help you through this difficult time, you should check out this article that I wrote about the subject. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, you can check it right here


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Shelley is a small town farm mom of two boys. She is a veterinary technician, so she is proud to write about all kinds of animals and their care. She also loves to write about writing, running a business, working from home, and much more.

Glenville, PA

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