Supporting Someone Who is In Pain

Shelley Wenger
Photo byShelley Wenger at Canva

One of the hardest things that we have to do is watch someone that we love struggle with pain and grief. It can be hard to sit by and watch them, without knowing what to do or say. While there is no right way to help, you can still be a good support system to someone that needs you.

Here are some tips to help.

Understand grief. First of all, you have to understand grief. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve someone. Your loved one may be doing fine, and then you catch him or her crying over something that was said.

You also need to remember that there is no timeline for grieving. It may take a few months or a few years, and that is alright. You don’t want to make your loved one feel bad for continuing to grieve longer than you think they should.

Be there to listen. More than anything, your loved one just needs someone to listen. Let them talk about their loss as much as they need to. Don’t be afraid to say the name of the deceased. Most people don’t feel comfortable talking about death so, if you can, you should let your loved one talk about him or her.

Just be willing to be there. You don’t need to do anything special to support someone who is grieving. You don’t have to take them to special places or constantly talk. Sometimes, just spending time together is enough. Show you care by hugging them and holding their hands if it helps.

Don’t stop supporting your loved one. Many people find themselves overwhelmed by all the support they get when someone passes. However, a few weeks later, they don’t have anyone. Make sure that you continue to check on your loved one, as time goes by. Special days and holidays can be the worst so make sure that your loved one knows that you are there for them.

In order to help your loved one through a difficult time, you need to understand their grief. It may last longer than expected or even hit them in the middle of a song, and that is ok. Just be there for them and let them talk about it. You also need to be there for the long haul. Many people lose their support system after a few weeks, but you should make sure that you don’t disappear when they need you.


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Shelley is a small town farm mom of two boys. She is a veterinary technician, so she is proud to write about all kinds of animals and their care. She also loves to write about writing, running a business, working from home, and much more.

Glenville, PA

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