Tips for Dealing with Codependency

Shelley Wenger

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Codependency happens when one partner puts the other person’s wants and needs ahead of his or her own. Though every relationship needs to have some compromise in it, as well as the desire to make the other person happy, codependency is more than that. It can also be very unhealthy.

However, the truth is that you can make a healthy relationship out of one with codependency. Here are some tips to help.

Look at yourself. If you always focus on your partner’s needs and not your own, you need to look further. Did you learn this from your parents? Do you tend to gravitate toward those that need help? Are you the same way with most of your friends? Once you realize this, you may be able to start to work toward overcoming it.

Look at healthy relationships. In order to make your relationship healthier, you need to know what that looks like. It looks like two people who are able to communicate with each other, even if they have opposing viewpoints. Both people feel comfortable discussing these topics, even though they know it may cause conflict. This is because they know that they can talk about it and come up with a compromise that works for the two of them.

Learn to think about your own needs. Many people who have spent years focusing on others may not have any idea about their own needs. They may not even realize where they enjoy going out to dinner, simply because they always follow along with anyone else. You may have to spend some time exploring new foods, hobbies, and relationships to figure out what feels right for you.

That being said, you should consider going to therapy. Therapy is a great way to help you learn new ways to cope with your feelings. It may also help to have group counseling to get your relationship on a much healthier path!

Codependency is not a healthy relationship. If you find yourself worrying about your partner, instead of yourself, you need to start to stand up for yourself. It often helps to watch healthy couples. Therapy may also help you find your own way in your relationship.

Previously published on Medium.

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Shelley is a small town farm mom of two boys. She is a veterinary technician, so she is proud to write about all kinds of animals and their care. She also loves to write about writing, running a business, working from home, and much more.

Glenville, PA
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