How to speak better

Sepehr Vafaei

Be positive

Don’t talk all the time about bad stuff happening in the world. Try to see good ones too. It’s ok to talk about the world news but not as if this is the end of the world. Don’t focus on the downsides of your life or others instead point out the good things in others’ life. You most probably have encountered the kind of people who bring hope and energy to your day. Be like that.

Use pauses

Instead of saying “Ehhhh”, simply pause. This simple point is forgotten by many people even media people. This helps you to know better what you wanna say next.

Avoid dogmatism

Dogmatism means stating your opinions in a strong way and not accepting anyone else’s opinions as if your opinions are facts.


Don’t speak fast or too slowly. Sometimes a little slow pace is actually good.

Stop gossiping

If you gossip people may think you will do the same behind their back. Also, You wouldn’t like it if someone did this to you.

Stop judging

We don't know exactly what's going on in a person's life. Maybe we would act the same if we were in that situation.

Don’t complain

Don’t complain about everything from the weather to the curbside of the street.

Be yourself

Don’t exaggerate. Speaking of being yourself, here is a beautiful quote from Oscar Wild: “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

Wish others well

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."-Dalai Lama
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."-Dalai lama

Use your life experiences

Your life experiences may be an interesting story for others so take advantage of your stories. It may be normal to you but to others, it may be exciting. For example, once I had a very dangerous road trip between two cities in Nepal while traveling and later described the experience in detail to someone and it was interesting to him.


This can be game-changing in public speaking. I strongly suggest watching this TED talk by David JP Phillips (Link at the end of the article).


When your statements sound like questions and create confusion and misunderstanding.


It is the fundamental frequency of a sound. There are exercises suggested by voice coaches to make you change the pitch of your voice. For example, a guy may want to have a more manly voice by lowering his pitch.

Timbre (tone color)

It is the color of your voice that makes your voice unique. This is how you recognize a person from their voice. We use timbre to identify instruments.

Timbre is a set of harmonic frequencies (also called overtones ) caused by how the sound is created like the method of vibration (string, …), the shape of the instrument, and the material.

For the note, Sol has a fundamental frequency but has different tones when played on different instruments.

There are also exercises to improve the tone of your voice.


Not too high. Not too low. Sometimes instead of just normal volume, using low volume makes your speech more beautiful and may make it charismatic.


When we listen, we respond better. Sometimes you may miss some sentences due to being distracted by your thoughts so try to listen carefully to your audience and also make that apparent in your gesture and your face.


Sometimes like in public speaking it is important to center your speech around an idea. This brings more harmony between you and the audience and makes your space more organized, meaningful, and interesting.


Express your curiosity about the subject and idea by using proper words and gestures.

Use familiar concepts

Some of the words and concepts that seem easy or normal to you, maybe new or strange to the audience so simply your speech and idea by corresponding to proper and familiar concepts, examples, or stories.

Facial expressions

Let your facial expressions fit the moment, story or topic. For example, if someone is telling you an interesting story, then don’t have a robot face or look bored.


Know some quotes for different occasions and situations. BrainyQuote is a good source for this which has categorized quotes based on the topic and people.

I wish you a happy day. I write content that helps us have a better life financially (DeFi, stock market,…) and mentally (art, philosophy,…). You can follow to stay updated and enter your email to receive stories fresh out of the oven.

Here is the link to a playlist including three TED talks by David JP Phillips regarding communication skills which were so helpful:

Communication and public speaking by David JP Phillips

I wish you a happy day. I write content that can help us have a better and more productive life. My Twitter account is sepehr_writes.

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