Tampanians Probably Misunderstand Nigerian Prince Emails

Sean Kernan

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=1iKQ2N_0Yz47Wr500Image source: procured via iStock photos

Esteemed reader,

It is my great privilege to inform you that, per the world ministry of eternal wealth, we have come to discover that our dear, and now deceased holy king, has one final beneficiary who has not received their chest full of gold coins, worth an estimated one hundred quadrillion us dollars.

To complete this transaction:


Phone Number:

Banking Account Number:

Banking Routing Number:

Social Security Number:


Credit Card Number (with pin/expiration):

And a check for $500 to pay for shipping.

Thank you.


For any questions, contact me, at 6969hornylatina6969@scamscience.xx.ii.ru

You are probably mistaken on a few facts about these emails.

For starters, you might assume the authors are bad at English. In many cases, they are actually quite good.

They use poorly constructed English for two reasons:

  1. To prey on the gullible. They don’t want smart people to respond. Intelligent people are good at reporting and messing with scammers, wasting their time.
  2. To convey they are from a far off land. This preys on stereotypes that Africa is this technology-free place where people need help completing the task.

It takes an insane volume to score a mark. More than a hundred thousand emails are sent for every single response. But don’t let that fool you. Hundreds of billions are sent annually, and many of these organizations make millions, often from smart people like yourself.

The second big misconception is that these scammers are from Nigeria. For example, this man:


Arrested in Louisiana. Source: USA Today

He was convicted of wire fraud and money laundering for pretending to be a top Nigerian official who needed financial assistance to deliver money. In fact, 61% of internet fraud originates right here in the United States. These frauds are referred to as 419 crimes, after the Nigerian penal code for a scam.

It’s usually a lone individual or sophisticated operation, with rooms full of people spamming individuals, looking for a sucker.

These workers usually have no moral objections to their means. Many already have criminal histories. There’s a vindictive element to their mindset: “These people can afford to lose a few bucks. The system is against me.”

It’s hard to imagine how people fall for such an oxymoron: I have so much money, but I need help getting it to you.

Incredibly, the people who fall for these scams are often convinced to do it a second time and third time. The schemes often heighten the rewards: “We’ve realized your prize is not $5 million, but $25 million! We just need ___ more dollars!”

The sad fact remains that the victims are usually the disadvantaged or the elderly, people who actually need the money. But many highly capable people still get snagged too.

It’s better to think of Nigerian prince emails as cash advance scams, myriad endless scenarios requiring money upfront. The concept started as The Spanish Prisoner Scheme in the early 1800s in Europe.

A representative (the “trickster”) for a wealthy imprisoned man would reach out to you with a sophisticated, well-written letter, stating they needed cash to bribe the guards for his master’s release. In exchange, the financier would receive a greater sum and his beautiful daughter's hand in marriage, after the fact.

Such letters worked, remarkably well.

Today? Those sophisticated letters have evolved, and devolved, quite a bit. But it makes for some fun exchanges.

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=29hc3b_0Yz47Wr500Image source: ourfreakingbudget

My friend's mother fell for one. It got rather ugly as after she sent the first payment. They started making threats when she refused to send a second payment.

Sometimes, they are more comical.

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=1VTIq7_0Yz47Wr500Image source: BoredPanda

Here’s one I received this week. It’s a doozie.


I’d like to pre-apologize to my friends and family for the porn history compilation that will be released soon.

Fun tip: Check out your spam folder. You’ve probably been getting all sorts of crazy emails too.

There’s also a common scheme that the men reading this have likely encountered. It’s usually via Facebook. It’s a super attractive woman with a picture showing off lots of cleavage. She adds you despite not having any shared connections.

Her account looks recently created. All of her friends are men. Regrettably, I saw one of my dumber friends comment on her one and only update showing her cleavage profile photo, “Yeh babee luking so goooood xxxx.”

He didn’t realize that “she” was likely just a dude with a thick stache.

The account strikes up a conversation that consists of her just asking you a bunch of questions and not answering any. Eventually, they pry enough information out of you to steal your identity and defraud you.

Or maybe she really likes you, bro.

Somewhere out there, you have to wonder if someone is an actual prince trying to send someone money. Or if an American is trying to scam an actual prince with these emails.

Fun fact: Nigeria has 200 million people, including 2,000 ethnicities. There is no official prince. But there are hundreds of unofficial princes spread throughout.

Also, don’t make Nigerian prince jokes to your next Nigerian acquaintance. Nigerians are probably tired of hearing them. It’s a super basic joke.

The big takeaway here: Don’t be a sucker. Cash advance schemes come in many flavors. They are getting more sophisticated and a lot more people have fallen for them than are willing to admit.

Most people that have a pile of treasure don’t need help splitting it with you.

It harkens back to that old phrase, “If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.”

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