I had come home from work with a lot of stress, feelings of restlessness, and anxiety. I’d just done a presentation to the CEO and CFO of a large corporate. It was a proposal to build a new homeless shelter. The long-passed moments of pressure that surrounded tests in my youth were now far overpowered by the truths of adult life.
People depended on me. They had bills to pay, kids to feed, the family expectation to succeed. And if I failed to land this contract, I’d have to let several of them go. I would have those conversations. I would look them in the eyes and tell them it was over.
But this was the burden I carried, the terrible price of success, and I was glad to carry it. Being adult mandates walking a difficult line. You must speak and hear difficult truths.
A well-intended break
It was a Wednesday night. I decided to stop working and take some time for myself. I blew the dust off my Xbox, put my Call of Duty disc in.
It had been a number of years since I’d played a video game. I was a bit rusty, but always had a knack for the game. It was time to see if I still had it.
They threw me into a Ground War lobby, with 18 players, and endless chaos.
There was a particularly mouthy young fellow, Xx96Rogue96xX. He was eager to perform well and land lots of kills. He had a number of opinions about the state of the game and his team's trajectory. He was probably 13-years-old, and passionate to defeat our foes.
I said, “Hey Xx96Rogue96xX. We should try to go to capture B together. I’ll lay down some cover fire while you get the flag.”
He — sounding slightly pubescent — shouted over the headset, “You are a Low-T Beta Cuck!”
And just as any of you might have reacted; I was stunned. I mean, for starters, how could he tell me like that? On a public forum?
A Low T-Beta Cuck.
Over a headset, too. Is that how you’d want that news delivered?
I was shocked and a little disoriented. I put down my headset and decided to sleep it off. All night, I dreamt of being in the locker room, with dudes whipping me with towels, making jokes about my manhood.
A Low T Beta Cuck
The next day I went to work a bit deflated, trying to process everything. When you get big news in your life like that, it can be difficult. My colleagues were curious and knew I was off. Several of them asked if I was OK.
I said, “Yeah, I’m good.”
But I was lying. All I heard was, “A Low T Beta Cuck.” It was like finding out I’d been adopted decades into life.
Later that day, I went into my boss's office and submitted my resignation. He seemed confused. But I knew my life needed a bit of change.
Then I scheduled an appointment with my endocrinologist.
After that, I signed up for a year of kickboxing classes and assertiveness training.
A Low T Beta Cuck
Then, of course, I had to confront my fiancé about that cuckhold statement. I let her know that I couldn’t deal with cheating. So I ended things. She denied, denied, denied. But I let her know I’d spoken with Xx96Rogue96xX and facts are facts. I was the one who got away.
I sold my car. Bought a Harley. Tattooed “ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME” in barbed wire font across my chest. Got my name legally changed to Butch. Started smoking 10 lbs of bacon every night. Took up some new hobbies but made sure not to overdo it. I didn’t want people to think I was trying too hard.
Now, I’m living my true life. Roy Bennet once said, “Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”
Sure, I wasn’t happy with how I found out I was a Low T Beta Cuck. But after that truth bomb was detonated, I’d picked up the pieces. Xx96Rogue96xX has nothing on me. Now pardon me while I go join a lobby and hope to bump into him again. He will be taking those words back. Just you watch.