Despite the importance of relationships in our lives, finding the right one may be a challenge. Being open about your emotions, being affectionate often, and expressing appreciation are some of the most commonly cited relationship-building tips.
I believe, however, that they are omitting the main point. However, these are just subsets or derivatives of the most crucial relationship requirement: that each person in the partnership is living his or her own unique life to the fullest extent.
A relationship's success is a direct result of how we conduct our lives as individuals. Is it possible for us to have a happy romantic relationship if we aren't living our life by our values and principles? It's just not feasible in this case. Each person's contribution to a relationship is a reflection of how much work they put into becoming a whole person in general.
As long as you're OK with being "above average," you'll get what you're looking for from a romantic connection. Why? Because they'll believe that being "above average" in their contributions (and receipts) is all they need to have satisfying interpersonal interactions.
Sacrifices are necessary for relationships.
To maintain a relationship, you have to put in some effort on your part. It took a lot of work. Relationships are simply the union of two individuals (unless you're a polygamist) who can work together as a single unit to achieve mutual objectives, regardless of the beautiful things about them (romance, passion, etc.).
Sharing experiences (e.g., new hobbies, travel) and delivering satisfaction via emotional connection are only a few of the numerous advantages of relationships.
It takes a team effort to accomplish all of this, since choices made as a pair may be at odds with the preferences of one of the partners. In the words of most relationship gurus, you are making a sacrifice in this situation.
In a partnership, it's important to make sacrifices. At times, individuals who are in a relationship have to put the other person's wants and views above their own. Meaning, sometimes a person needs to give up something to benefit the relationship or the other person.
A person who isn't truly living their own life as an individual will be less willing to make a sacrifice, but here's the catch!
It's only when you're content with your own company that you're able to give your all to someone else.
Do what you want with your life:
What does it mean to "live your own life" and why is it so vital to achieving this goal? To put it another way, we spend all of our time in our heads. Regardless of how unhappy we are with the way things are going, we are unable to just turn it off or go live someone else's life. It's our life, and we're expected to live it nonstop.
We will never have a connection like this again in our lives. Even if we were able to spend every waking moment with our spouse, we wouldn't be able to immerse ourselves in the relationship mindset.
To think in terms of relationships, we first have to engage our minds, which are programmed to think as individuals. Even yet, it is still our minds that awakened first and had to make the decision.
As a result, our attitude toward life as an individual impacts everything else in our environment. Every aspect of our existence is shaped by the choices we make daily. The way we treat ourselves as individuals affects every second of our lives in the same way that every second of our lives is dictated by how we treat others.
Unless we value ourselves and can be honest with ourselves, we can not expect anything else from our lives. This covers our job, our family, and our relationships.
When it comes to working on one's health, most partnerships operate with a 50/50 balance of responsibilities. For the sake of argument, assume that a hypothetical couple has an excellent life together. They both have respectable jobs, solid salaries; maybe even children, a few close friends, and they've accomplished a few items on their bucket lists. Overall, they are happy in their relationship. But isn't it true that satisfaction isn't always synonymous with happiness?
At this point, it is clear that they aren't performing at their maximum potential. It doesn't matter what their motivations are; they're pleased to be "above average" in life. For this example, we'll assume that they're both operating at 50% of their potential.
Using basic arithmetic, it is clear that each individual can only contribute 25% of the overall effort to the relationship (50% effort x 50% contribution = 25%), and when combined, this only amounts to a total of 50% effort for the partnership.
In other words, their lovely little existence together will never attain its full potential. They may have a decent relationship right now, but it could be so much better if they only put forth a little more effort to make themselves happy.
However, this example may seem unnecessarily basic for its purpose. Because it's that easy to do! It's impossible to have a great relationship if you're only putting in half the work you're capable of.
What to do about it:
You should have figured it out by now, but in case you haven't, here it is. Not living your life to the fullest, not pursuing your aspirations, and not being honest with yourself are all ways you're harming your life and damaging your relationships.
If this sounds like you, start making some good adjustments in your life right away. Never give up on your dreams; always do what makes you happy and be honest with yourself and others. “Average" isn't good enough. Rather than lowering your expectations to accept what's close by and common, aim higher and discover what steps you may take to attain those lofty heights.