Opinion: I had seen my parents fighting in front of me since I was young.


**This is a work of non-fiction based on an actual event experienced by me firsthand; used with permission.

One of the formative experiences while growing up was witnessing my parents fighting. I don't consider it strange to say this because it's only when you grow up that you realize that all couples fight, but children are completely unaware of such conflicts at a young age.

All I knew for sure as a kid was what my mom told me: "It's not your fault. We're fighting because we love each other."

This explanation seemed reasonable to me as I could barely comprehend the concept of love. As I got older, I saw how my mom would get hurt and cry when my dad called her names and accused her of things that weren't true.

There were times when she would run out of our house crying and go to her mom's house and come back late at night with red eyes, explaining that things weren't working out between them. She said this kind of fighting was normal, but she and my dad had promised to break up if it continued.

My parents didn't have the kind of relationship that could be described as a healthy marriage, but I never imagined their fight would cause them to become so distant. I thought things would get better after a few years when my dad got a new job and was able to take care of us financially.

When I was 13, however, everything changed - and not just with my dad. My mom had been pretty stoic regarding issues about her marriage, but this was different.

She was like a completely different person. She became emotionally fragile and vulnerable, sometimes crying in the middle of the night if she thought I wasn't sleeping well.

One day my mom even told me that she heard my dad screaming at her: "I wish you had died already so that I could have the rest of my life with peace." [His tears] carried on for hours and days ...

At first, my mom reacted to this by telling him she'd get the divorce papers. But she didn't do that, and the fight continued for months.

And now I'm 21, and I'm in med school. My parents still argue over small things like cooking dinner and washing clothes... sometimes my mom didn't take anything from my dad in the kitchen even though he is working, but they say they are aware of this...

Well, it affected me too. I had seen all these things from my childhood. It affected my mental health too. I slept at night thinking about my childhood. I was very sad in my life, but I kept these things to myself.

But one thing is certain: I will never enter into an arranged marriage because I have witnessed the life of an arranged marriage couple in my parents' lives because they were in an arranged marriage.

My parents still argue about small things, and it's really sad to see my mom sometimes crying because of all this, but they say they are aware of this problem and are trying to sort it out... Sometimes I wonder how I can stay as a doctor (in the future as I'm a med student) when such a problem exists in my house... I had seen my parents fighting. It's like they are not aware that they are hurting their kids.

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Second-year medical student, I always see my life from a positive aspect, so trying to make some face smile by writing some lines about happiness.


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