From the moment you see those two pink lines turn up on that stick, you’re a mother! Just like that, life changes. Whatever is happening in your world begins to rearrange itself, and everything else takes a back seat to your new role. And it never changes back. Regardless of whoever else you are in your life, first – you’re a mother.
The protective instincts, the unconditional love, the hope, and the sacrifices. They are all born the instant you learn you are pregnant, and they come to rule almost every decision you will make in your life afterward. “What’s best for my child?”
Some journeys to motherhood are easy. Others are challenging. Some babies are planned, and others come as a surprise. Becoming a mom has a different significance for each woman, but we all share a common desire – safe, healthy, happy kids. Sometimes, we also harbor a wish for our child, a special hope derived from our own childhoods, life lessons, or individual struggles.
Here, two soon-to-be, first-time Birmingham Moms share their journeys to motherhood and their secret personal wish for their babies.
Designer, Owner of Jackie Landerfelt Interiors
There was never a day in my life that I wondered if I’d be a mom; I knew when the time came, I’d accept that title proudly. However, our strategically planned timeframe of life - getting married, buying a house, having a baby, having more babies, enjoying life as it comes, and growing old and happy together - was halted when we learned about our infertility.
There is a true grieving process that comes with the news of infertility. You feel broken, physically and mentally. There is guilt, sadness, and anger. But then there is a moment when you look into your partner’s eyes, and you see sadness, strength, and so much love. That moment was a turning point for me. I knew that I wasn’t navigating this road alone. I had an army of family, friends, doctors, strangers, and God to lead me to the day I would finally be called Mom.
After a little more than two years of doctor appointments, shots, acupuncture sessions, and tears, we received the call that we were pregnant. One special IVF embryo was growing into our baby! We are due in July 2021 and are anxious to meet our firstborn. I look forward to the day our little one coos in my arms, and I continue to pray over our most precious gift.
To the child who made me a mom: There will never be a day that you aren’t loved, cared for, and appreciated. My secret wish for you is that you always know what this life is about. I pray that you find joy in every day and understand the true meaning of grace, love, and forgiveness. I pray that you never rush God’s timing and always bloom where you are planted. Accept your failures and know your strengths. Pray through life while walking with God, and you will always know love, acceptance, and joy.
I found out I was pregnant 3 months after a close friend died unexpectedly. Losing him, as well as his absence in our lives and the lives of his children, clarified what was important to my husband and me – how fleeting life can be and what love truly means. Our friend will be the catalyst that set in motion our journey as a family for the rest of our lives. To know that something beautiful will be born out of the tragedy of losing him gives us solace and peace.
We are incredibly lucky to have gotten pregnant after only a few months of trying, and we don’t take the privilege of becoming someone’s mother and father lightly. Each of us coming from a less-than-ideal childhood means we will never subject our children to the kind of struggles we were not protected from. They will always know love.
As a first-time mother, my wish for my child is that they be able to love fully and honestly that they never live in fear of what they cannot do or whether they are valuable. I wish that they are able to experience the world wholly and intimately in all its beauty and pain. Because there is a certainty that love exists—for you, of you, before you, and forever.
After nine long months of daydreaming about your little one, worrying and hoping, that magical day arrives. Finally, you get to hold your baby in your arms for the very first time and snuggle them up just like you’ve dreamed. No other moment in your life will ever come close.
You’re a mother now. Your life is forever changed.