How Much It Hurts

Roxana Anton by Ilya Shishikhin on Unsplash
How much it hurts
To be truly loved
To feel it, with every inch of your soul and skin
And then, to be abandoned
With no clue, no explanation
In the sunlight or in the rain.
How much it hurts
To be loved, for 10 minutes
To feel as if someone truly understands
Every beating of your heart
Someone who has mercy, who genuinely sees you for who you are
not for who you pretend to be
Someone who sees that you’re afraid
and it’s okay
You can’t be Captain America all the time
You’ve been too strong, for many, many years
And still chooses you
Even if you are strong or not, in the present
But wait, it was a lie,
was it?
Out of the blue,
The next morning, He’s tired. He won’t text you
or go out with you,
In the next days
He doesn’t know you anymore.
“I can’t be strong all the time, you know
And I’m not perfect, but let’s discuss it.
You’d better tell me right now, right away:
What did I do wrong? Why won’t you treasure me,
like you used to before?
I haven’t changed. But something did.
That’s human life, sometimes,
Endless whispers of almost-love,
Missed love stories out of a superficial mindset
Abandoning each other, out of the blue
after too many strong declarations.
Lack of seriosity with the most serious and important thing:
being a couple, giving birth to a family.
How tragic, a human life,
Lack of education for Love,
Small years of superficial misery, before
the true misery: disease, and crying yourself to death.
How hard it is, to be loved truly for 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 years, 100 years
And then abandoned
Then all of a sudden, the loved one doesn’t know you
Kicks your ass out of the house.
How hard, the human condition
Every moment of every day
Hoping and waiting for the illusion of a meaningful love
Of a meaningful something.
Terrifying condition on this earth.
How hard it is to be loved and then abandoned,
To betray others too, ‘cause “that’s the game everyone’s playing”.
The deeply miserable condition of old Adam
He who first among Men, has betrayed and abandoned.
How much it hurts, to be loved and abandoned
And what’s even harder, is to
Try to act differently
Not to repeat, day after day,
The same mistakes of the Old Man
Who lies in you.
It’s so damn hard
To watch the same show, over and over again, infinite times,
And never getting to be the actor.

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I bring you news of general interest from trustful sources. Freelance writer, translator, and novelist with a University degree in European literature and culture, a passion for celebrities, history, literature, and more.


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