Signs that you are a victim of gas lighting
The dance studio was a TON of work. Like next level. It was a 24/7 job for four of us. There was NO breaks. I worked at my job as an RN ALL NIGHT and then came to work at the studio ALL DAY (without pay) because this is what I was expected to do. That’s what a signed up for right.... I kept telling myself it was a passion project and it would pay off. I was always super clear about the fact that I had a goal to take more of a backseat role and the girls both seemed fine with this. I wanted my nursing to be my first job and do the studio part time. It was very clear that somewhere along the line, this shifted. Lines got blurred and I was expected to be there all the damn time. We put this terrible pressure on each other. I got pressured into coming in to teach when I was suppose to be sleeping for nightshift because it was “only 1 hour” I did it because I didn’t want to make waves, I did it because that’s what I thought I was suppose to do. I fought against my partner when she tried to kick our other partner out for being “stupid”. I convinced her to step down. I convinced her to not follow her fathers advice to get her to make the decision to leave instead of getting “kicked out”. There was so many nights I stood up for my one partner.... and for the dumbest shit like leaving a fucking grilled cheese in a drawer. (Yeah, she wanted to overthrow her for that). I was young, dumb, easily controlled...manipulated and fell for it. I was definitely a sheep. I am glad that I managed to stand up for my partner, but the cycle continued. Unfortunately, it was a cycle that didn’t continue in my best interest. I got engaged and couldn’t enjoy that. I had to bargain to get my bridal shower off work at the studio and my wedding dress shopping. I had to come in to teach when I was sick, just so I could justify taking my wedding weekend off. I got married and got guilted for taking that time off. I went on my honeymoon and it was a big thing. I remember doing work from my phone on my honeymoon. We all had to be equal and my life events were not taken into account. If I was taking off this time to get married, my partners could then in turn take off time to do whatever they wanted as well. You can bet that it wasn’t this way when the tables were turned though. There was SO many red flags in the first year. So many signs and reasons why we shouldn’t continue. I should of learned. I was a big ball of anxiety and I couldn’t even really tell if I loved what I was doing anymore. But alas, I continued on.Read full story
Sorry, not sorry.
I have been a dancer all of my life. Right from the young age of three... up until the age of eighteen. I danced in tap, jazz, ballet, lyrical, musical theatre, hip hop. I did it all. My was enrolled in my first ballet class at the age of three. My mom said it was because I refused to walk on flat feet. I was always on my tippy toes. I got introduced to the dance world and never turned back. I didn’t do any other sports, just dance. I tried out soccer... but it was t for me. My sister ventured off in to hockey land... but that certainly wasn’t for me. Other kids were learning how to snowboard and ski and play soccer and baseball and hockey.... this and that. But I danced. That’s what I did. Dance, every single day after school. From 430-930. Monday-Friday. I would student teach and then eventually move on to teach on Saturdays. All day. I spent my whole, damn life in the studio. I travelled for competitions, I did dance exams. My parents paid thousands and thousands so I could do this thing that I loved.Read full story
How to make your local Pandemic Party Great!
Pandemic and party, two things that likely shouldn’t be put in the same sentence! Especially not this day in age. There are ways that you can safely throw a party in this pandemic though! I have a bunch of ideas that I would love to share. All you need to do is check out what’s local and fun (and outside) in your community and do that!! Right now in Canada, inside gatherings are strictly prohibited. Fortunately, bans have been lifted so we are able to congregate outside with social distancing. While planning my little ones third birthday party, I reached out to local businesses and small companies in order to support our efforts.Read full story
Lack of discipline is not kindness, it’s neglect.
A toddler acting out is not shameful, nor is it behavior that needs punishing. It’s a cry for attention, a shout-out for sleep, or a call to action for firmer, more consistent limits. It is the push-pull of our toddler testing his burgeoning independence. He has the overwhelming impulse to step out of bounds, while also desperately needing to know he is securely reined in. There is no question that children need discipline. As infant expertMagda Gerbersaid, “Lack of discipline is not kindness, it is neglect.”Read full story
How to pack your hospital bag. A no BS list of must haves.
How to pack your diaper bag for the hospital. A no BS list of Must haves. Your due date's approaching. You've taken childbirth classes. You've figured out your birth plan. You’ve stocked up on cute onesies, diapers, and every other item you might conceivably need for your new baby – and you may want to bring all those purchases to the hospital with you! But wait.... please don’t!!!Read full story
Hey girl, self care isn’t selfish.
I’m a mom and I don’t take nearly enough time for self care. I feel guilty when I do. I feel like I should be doing something much more productive. Like right now for example, I am having a bath thinking about how I should really be downstairs cleaning up the supper mess in my kitchen. So instead of actually relaxing and enjoying my bath, I am laying the mom guilt on thick. Thinking about why I don’t deserve to have this quiet, kid free, uninterrupted time to myself. Why do we do this to ourselves? I would never do that to someone else, but to myself.... in a second! Funny how that works. I wonder how many of you are the same way? How many of you give other moms grace and understanding, but are so quick to judge and shame themselves. How many of us make ourselves feel this way because we think we don’t deserve it? Think that someone else would think that we are being lazy? Why is being a mom so complicated. Maybe I’m just too in my head? These are all the things that run through my mind as I lay here trying to wind down and have a nice bath. So much for that idea!!Read full story
Last minute Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for HIM
Even if gift-giving is your love language, there's a chance you still find it difficult to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift for him. Especially if you’ve been together for a long time. Chances are, if you’re reading this - you don’t have a gift yet. Time to panic!! Hit up amazon prime and order one of these gifts that are sure to please any man in your life. Wether the special guy is your hubby, dad, or any other special man in your life. These gifts will work perfect for any of them. You want something as unique and heartfelt as your love, but still practical enough for him to use on the daily. That's why I have rounded up the best Valentine's Day gift ideas for the man in your life, no matter your budget ... or relationship status. I still don’t have a gift for my husband yet, so perhaps I should take my own advice. Lol!Read full story
I’m a mom and I’m drowning.
I’m a mom and I’m drowning. Today was a day. You know, the type of day where you just want to sit down and cry at the end of it. Motherhood is hard. Why is it so damn hard? I am a pediatric registered nurse. How can I manage to handle 3 kids in intensive care without breaking a sweat or batting an eye; but the second my kids start going buck wild I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and cry. Disclaimer: I wouldn’t bother going any further with this article if you aren’t a mom.... it’s likely that you will not understand the struggle. BUT, If you are a mom who also feels like they are drowning (likely in laundry piles) you’ve come to the right place.Read full story
My daughter was taken away from me after birth...
My daughter was taken away from me after birth... No, she was as not abducted. She was not actually “taken” from me. But as I was rolling away from her to go to the Operating Room, it sure felt like it might of been the last time that I would ever see her...Read full story
COVID truths. Interview with a Registered Nurse.
I’ve always been the “momma” in my group of friends so becoming a nurse just made sense. My enneagram personality type is a Number 2, which means I am “The Helper”. Serving and helping others brings me the most joy in life. I was drawn to nursing specifically to work in pediatrics. I wouldn’t work anywhere else, I love and take care of my work kiddos like my own.Read full story
FED is best. 5 tips from a Pediatric Registered Nurse.
FED is best. 5 tips from a Pediatric Registered Nurse. Hey mama! I see you! Sitting in your rocking chair at 4 am, reading this article and wondering if it will ever get easier. Scrolling through Pinterest, pinning ideas for successful beast feeding. Wondering if it will ever stop hurting? Will my nipples eventually stop bleeding? Will my baby get faster at feeding? Will I start to love it? Will I ever get my body back? I was you, sitting in your bed in the dark watching too many useless tik toks in the middle of the night, slowly going crazy. So many questions, and the answer to all of them is, YES! Yes, yes, yes. It gets better, it gets easier... but it won’t, unless you seek out proper assistance and make the best decisions for you and your baby!Read full story
3 Easy ways to keep money in your community
Hi all! Charleigh, Nora and I have partnered with some amazing small shops to bring you discount codes for their products! I will often get asked why I support small shops instead of shopping at big corporations… Don’t get me wrong, I do still shop at places like Carters, Buy Buy Baby, Joe Fresh, Winners, Marshals, Zara etc etc from time to time. BUT whenever I have the chance or choice I will always pick local or small (or both!) It has become extremely important to me to put my daughters and myself in ethical and sustainable clothing… and here is why.Read full story
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die...
Do you make New Years resolutions? Typically I do. They are always health and fitness related though and tend to be unrealistic and unattainable. I fail every single year. This year I decided to change things up and focus on more realistic goals. Ambitions that had nothing to do with losing weight. Why is it that New Years resolutions almost always include getting skinnier? Have you ever actually followed through with these plans?! Did you ever use the gym membership that you bought on a whim January 1st?! How did that cleanse work out for you?! Those diet pills?! Exactly. This year I encourage you to go into 2021 with realistic goals and expectations. Make promises to yourself that you can actually stick to! A year from now when you are looking back you won’t regret being stuck in that same vicious cycle of making and breaking fitness/health/wellness related promises to yourself if you follow this advice.Read full story
5 things no one tells you about having a baby in a pandemic. Why my 2020 maternity leave didn’t suck.
I had my second daughter in May of 2020. Year of the dumpster fire. Maybe I’ll write that in her baby book? Who am I kidding, she does not have a baby book started yet.... she’s the poor second child. The quiet one that you find rolled away into the corner, quietly playing alone. My little patient unicorn baby. What a roller coaster of emotions it was to have a baby in a pandemic. There was so many disadvantages, but if I’m being honest, I kind of liked it. Obviously I didn’t like the risk of myself or my baby contracting COVID!! What I mean is, I like how we had time once she was born to slow down and just enjoy her, enjoy our new little family of four. Before I get into that, there is obviously some really shitty things about having a baby in a pandemic that I would like to acknowledge. 2020 definitely stole away the traditional maternity leave experiences that’s forsure. This certainly was not the maternity leave that I had envisioned. Grandparents and Great Grandparents had to meet Nora through screens, and windows. Our aunties and uncles STILL haven’t met her. My grandparents met her for the VERY FIRST TIME about a month ago. She is 8 months old. That is sad and wrong. The quiet, cozy days that I had imagined for us were quickly met with chaos. Daycares had shut down, people lost their jobs (my husband included) we couldn’t go anywhere and it’s insane that my mental health didn’t go down the shitter. Organized activities came to a screeching halt, parks were closed, people were told not to talk or see each other. Along with trying to figure out what the hell was happening in the world and how to survive in a pandemic, my husband and I also had to try and figure out how to become parents to two kids without any support. Cam was able to secure a new job and had to work the DAY after we brought Nora home from the hospital. The maternity leave I imaged for myself vanished over night. No napping while the baby napped (because toddler) no joining mom groups like I did last time, no dropping off the kids with the grandparents for some me time. No coffee dates, no evening wine with girlfriends. No baby shower, no celebrations for Nora. It was sad!! There was also certainly no time during the day to clean the damn house (once again, because toddler)Read full story
My husband almost missed the birth of his daughter because he was...
My husband almost missed the birth of his daughter because he was... Wow! Some people got upset because I didn’t get straight to the point in my last blog post!! Side note: if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all ☺️ Didn’t your momma teach you that?! Mine did!! Pft. OH and just a heads up, WARNING ⛔️ this is a motherhood blog. (Shocker) Do not go any further if you don’t want to hear about MY real life experiences, thoughts and emotions. It is not a news article!! I am not a reporter. I’m not here writing because I think my life is “so important” Holy man. People are such jerks!! PS: if you haven’t noticed, if you are an ass in the comments, I will for sure call you out. Rude people, I’m not here for it.Read full story
I got my COVID-19 vaccine while breastfeeding and this is what happened...
If you are an anti-vaxxer. You’ve definitely come to the wrong blog post! I suggest moving along. If you are an anti-masker, again, you’ve come to the wrong place! I suggest moving on. If you believe that this pandemic is a hoax.... you guessed it! You have come to the wrong place... move along! Or just skip straight to the end and leave me a nasty comment to just get it over with.Read full story
I had a baby in the time it took my husband to...
Okay. Listen up! Just because I had a terrible third trimester and a horrible labour and delivery, does NOT mean that I should not of tried again. If you read my previous posts you know that my labour with Charleigh was traumatic. Isn’t it funny how fast you forget about that? How fast everything becomes a blur. Oh, the things that us mommas do for our kiddos. Isn’t a mother’s love incredible? They say you don’t truly understand until you have one of your own and I definitely agree with that statement. (Shout out to my own momma ❤️)Read full story
OOPS, we did it again. Shout out to the hater.
Note: In order to fully understand this post - I urge you to go back and read "She's here…My traumatic birth story" Now, Just a little aside before I get started talking about my sweet Nora…Read full story
A hot mess pregnancy.....
Oh man, my first trimester was a dream. I seriously had no symptoms… looking back now I am very thankful for that, but at the time I found myself constantly googling “What happens if you have no symptoms of pregnancy” “Am I having a miscarriage” “How many women experience morning sickness” “Am I still pregnant” the list goes on, and on. If I can make one recommendation to all of you momma’s to be out there, do yourself a favour and stay off the google. At exactly 12 weeks I fell while hiking in BC. At the time I really didn’t think anything of it until I started having cramps a few days later… back to the google I went. Guys… I am a nurse and I still went on google. What is wrong with me!!! So according to Dr. Google I was having a miscarriage and also I had cancer. We continued on with our trip and the cramps stopped so it left my mind. On the way home I started spotting in an gas station bathroom. Im pretty sure that was one of the scariest moments of my life, I felt like everything we had ever wanted was gone. I told Cam and cried for the rest of the way home. As soon as we got home we headed into emerg and I was sent for blood work and an ultrasound. It was the LONGEST night of my life waiting for the results. My blood work came back good and I got to see my perfect baby on the screen. The doctor suspected that I had a small bleed from falling while hiking but everything looked great now.Read full story
Are you pregnant? You NEED these baby items.
Hey Guys! This blog post is for new new moms, expectant moms, moms that are looking for new products, grandmas looking to spend money, and perhaps even some confused Dads. When I had Charleigh I has somewhat of an idea of what I needed, but this was only because of knowing what I needed at work to take care of the nuggets. My husband had no idea and thought that I was nuts with the things I was bringing to him saying we needed this. For example, a moma roo…. lifesaver, right? Also, “why on earth do we need 5 different change pad covers and crib sheets?!” I’m pretty sure after the first week he would agree with me that we in fact did need that many. (Poosplosions… need I say more?) We were the first of our local friends to have kids so we purchased everything we needed new. Looking back… we definitely could have gone the buy and sell route but I have a thing with germs. I think that maybe comes with being a nurse?? So I definitely COULD have done things cheaper. But, I have been extremely happy with everything that we have picked out for Charleigh. Everything has since been handed down to little Nora Grey. I would love to share and hopefully make someone’s journey a bit easier!! As always, please do your own research before purchasing these products!Read full story