Fly-On-The-Wall Theater: Donald Trump telephones Elon Musk, May 2023

Roger Marsh

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Elon Musk.Photo byIn Wikipedia.

Comic Dialogue

Writer Roger Marsh uses a unique and all-natural listening device — the Universal Parlance Pick-Up Osculater (UPP-UO). Developed by the Maya civilization during the Preclassic Period, the UPP-UO was thought to be a myth until its rediscovery in the late 20th century from the bottom of an abandoned well on a rural farm in southwestern Pennsylvania. Over more than 20 years, Roger reconstructed the device and eventually returned it to perfect working order. The delicate tuning bar can be set to record dialogue at any point on the planet from any point in time for brief periods.

Kimberly McGill of Scott City, Kansas, asks: “Do Donald Trump and Elon Musk know each other?"

TUNING: On Tuesday, May 2, 2023, former President Donald Trump used a special secure line to telephone Elon Musk. The UPP-UO was tuned to find out exactly what went on in this very private conversation.

WOMAN
Elon, Donald Trump is on line 289.

ELON
Line 289? That’s his exclusive line.

WOMAN
Yes, after the McClinton Summit — but he’s never used it.

ELON
I got this.

SOUND: Button click.

ELON
Elon Musk here.

DONALD
Elon. Good to hear your voice. How’s that going sending electric cars to Mars? I’m not seeing a market there yet.

ELON
No. The Mars missions are separate from electric car manufacturing.

DONALD
Called because I need a campaign manager. Running for President again. Did you hear about that? All over the news. Big story.

ELON
I’ll Tweet you a list of suggested names in 10 minutes.

DONALD
No. I want YOU.

ELON
I’m kind of busy right now, but I’ll send you a donation check for $5.

DONALD
So you own Twitter now?

ELON
Yes.

DONALD
Well on Twitter, you Tweet, right? But why don’t you Twit on Twitter? But you Tweet on Twitter.

ELON
Yes, we Tweet on Twitter.

DONALD
So I bought Tweeter, and we Twit on Tweeter. And you Tweet on Twitter. It’ll confuse users. I’ll have 12 percent of your market in 90 days.

ELON
How far along are you?

DONALD
We were a Delaware corporation about an hour ago. I think some guy named Doug started a development team about 20 minutes ago. How hard can it be? Going to be big. Very big.

ELON
You hold off on that and I can give you 15 minutes every Monday afternoon for six weeks.

DONALD
Sounds like a deal. Gotta go. My lunch arrived. Hey, I asked for extra pickles. I don’t see extra pickles.

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ROGER MARSH is a media content producer with works in print, film, television, web, and stage. His “UFO Traffic Reports” published more than 7,000 times since 2009. He was a case researcher for the History channel’s “Hangar 1: The UFO Files.”

Franklinville, NY
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