Things That Would Surprise Men About Life as a Woman

Image by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

• If we really like the new Tinder match, we will shave our bodies all over and wear matching lingerie on the first date - just in case.
• We use the Snapchat camera more than our actual phone camera.
• We have a favourite eyebrow out of the two.
• It is always a struggle to find the perfect pair of jeans that fit our waist, ass, and thighs at the same time.
• In the early stages of a relationship, we spend our dates in a near-perpetual state of a stomach ache. No, it isn’t from nervousness. It is from holding all our farts in.
• We love spending time scrolling through online shopping sites, adding things to our cart, then looking at the total price, laughing and closing the tab.
• Sometimes when we are doing our make-up, we start talking to the mirror about how great this moisturizer is for dry skin. And we always do it in a fake, high-pitched voice.
• The time we spend in the shower varies depending on whether it is a ‘quick body shower’, ‘hair and body wash’ or ‘exfoliate, scrub, face mask, shampoo, shave, moisturize, sing-along’ kind of shower.
• We don’t dress to impress men. We dress according to our waxing schedules, mood swings, availability of matching shoes and underwear, season, location, bags, lipstick… I could go on, but you get the drift. Impressing men isn’t even on that list.
• We spend our mornings thinking about what we’re going to have for lunch. And much of our evenings go in fantasizing about dinner.
• Whenever we remain quiet, there’s a whole storm of thoughts going on in our heads. Yet when you ask what are we thinking on, we will smile and say, ‘Nothing!’
• Sometimes, we just can’t stop staring at guys running around the park in grey sweatpants.
• We carry bags wherever we go. And just tell me what you need - a sweatshirt? I have it. Some tissues? Here you go. Hand sanitizer, phone charger, rubber band, pen drive, deodorant - name it and I have it.

Disclaimer: This answer is a light-hearted take on the modern woman. It is not meant to be taken seriously. And of course, it doesn’t apply to every woman.

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