Some Unconventional Dating Advice for Men

Riley Blue

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Do not ask your girl for nudes.

Yes, I get it — the two of you have amazing chemistry. You can’t keep your hands off each other, and no matter however many hours you spend together, you miss her the instant she is gone.

So, the next step after those endless late-night calls and mushy texting is of course — sexting, isn’t it?

But do you know that even if you immediately delete your girlfriend’s nude picture from your phone, there are ways in which it can be recovered?

And what if you didn’t delete it, but kept it in a hidden folder on your computer — what would happen if your computer is lost, stolen, or worse — crashed, and the only way you can recover your data is by hiring the services of a computer repair store? Yes, the store guy might be someone you have known for twenty years, but can you vouch for the integrity of every intern, every apprentice at his place?

What if you stored the images in some folder in your phone, and one drunk night, some of your friends (and strangers at the bar) see those naughty pictures your girl sent you after one hour of raunchy sexting?

Nudes of a woman are never safe, no matter how digitally secure you think you might be. There is always a risk of your account getting hacked or your data security being compromised. And if those pictures are in the hands of someone with harmful intent — your girlfriend’s entire life will be at risk.

As men, it is difficult to understand the kind of impact such an incident of cyber-harassment or bullying can have on a woman’s life. Her world can turn upside down within seconds, all her personal and professional relationships compromised.

In fact, a close friend of mine was at the receiving end of something similar. I still shudder at the harrowing experience and trust me, it is something I wouldn’t wish upon even my worst enemies. I was so moved by her story (and something similar that almost happened to me in mid-2016), that I felt that this was something I needed to talk about.

Cybercrimes against women need to be spoken against, and it will do us more harm by staying silent than by speaking up and standing up for our rights.

The story of shame and trauma that was simmering in my heart for several years took shape in the form of a novella called “What did Tashi do?” It is a take on cybercrime in India, and through it, I wish awareness about the importance of cybersecurity spreads in our country. I wish every woman (and every man who has a sister, female best friend or girlfriend) would read it so they can know the consequences of a situation like this, and what options are available to them if they ever find themselves the victim of an anonymous cyber threat.

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