Welp, it seems that I’m just not all that special after all. I’ve been noodling around the fringes of social media for nearly two decades now and here I thought I was immune to the poison. In fact, I’ve bragged about it both in person and in writing. Newsflash: Nope.
I’ve been blind to the detrimental effects social media — specifically that stoopid blue bird — until today’s years old. I just thought that wanting to sleep all the time was something we all are going through.
Maybe we are?
At any rate, I’m no stranger to the wily ways of rationalization, denial, and projection having barely escaped drug and alcohol addiction alive some mumble-mumble years ago. I know how these gremlins work. At least I thought I did. I thought I could smell a rationalization sneaking up behind me from a mile away.
Denial is pretty insidious, too, but my rationalizer is top of the line.
Here are just some of the “reasons” I’ve been feeling edgy, cranky, and — here’s the dead giveaway — wanting to just stay asleep as much as possible:
- Second bout of Covid
- Suspicious mass in left breast
- Biopsy of breast (benign, btw)
- Losing Medicaid on Halloween
- Bestie moved to another state
- There’s a certain possible novel still waiting for a solid re-write
- Our shiny new councilman may already be in the pocket of the real estate lobby even before the general election
- Nazis in Ukraine are going to get us all nuked
- Nazis in the Police Dept are going kill my neighbors
- Trump is going to win
- Biden is going to win
- Ignorant people are going to keep circumcising their baby boys
- The gulf stream is going to collapse due to melting sea ice resulting in take-your-pick of nightmare scenarios
- We’ll never have a real winter again
It takes what it takes, but it took me journaling this morning about how really all I want to do these days is sleep to bring me to my senses. Take another look at that list. Can you tell where I go off the rails courtesy of the stoopid blue bird? Here’s a clue: Nazis.
Now maybe you have a better scorecard than the one I was given in the eighth grade at Cloverleaf Junior High School, but I’m having a really tough time telling the Commies and the Fascists apart these days. We’ve hit the point where anyone we don’t like gets slammed with either of those names and people don’t seem to mind that next to no-one seems to know what either of those ideologies actually consist of. Yes, Skipper, those are ideologies not just zingers to shut down a conversation you don't like.
Just to be clear, however, this is not my triumphant statement of digital detox.
This is simply me recognizing that I’m not all that special after all and then further recognizing that ignoring social media is probably going to do my head a world of good.
How long I’ll maintain this attitude is up to the gods.
And if I really want to take a nap I will.