Opinion: The Greatest Human Failing

Remington Write

Not minding our own business!

The bar failed but the psychic's in business...go figurePhoto byTammy Remington

Funny how much trouble is caused in this world by people who refuse to mind their own business. Well, not funny actually.

It wasn't funny growing up in the bosom of Small Town America and being at the business end of damaging gossip and nasty speculation. Where I grew up it was a given that people were not going to mind their own business. Moving from the micro to the macro, we have the ridiculous near-daily protests and bans of drag story hours or brunches blended with a dash of American politicians telling China to watch its step…in Asia.

Yes, friends, the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave apparently isn’t content with wrecking Eastern Europe. Now it wants to tell China how it should and should not behave on its own continent. On the other side of the world.

We got some nerve, huh?

Those finger-waggers in D.C. may want to consider pausing for a moment to remember who is largely supplying its military with butanetriol. Turns out those Hellfire missiles won’t be nearly as reliable if the U.S.A. wants to aim them at China without this critical chemical supplied by — wait for it — China.

But our government seems to be constitutionally incapable of minding its own business.

When it’s not sticking its red, white, and blue nose into other countries’ affairs — about twice a month at this point, on alternate Tuesday afternoons— our duly elected representatives are busily representing the interests of extremists and corporations. Suddenly every woman in this country has the government minding her business. Don’t get too comfy, men. You’re next.

I'm clearly on a roll here.

However, a startling thought stopped me in my tracks as I was dusting off the old soapbox and clearing my throat. Muttering along under my daily outrage at government, institutions, and the other assorted bone-heads making life miserable for everyone around them is my own inability to mind my own business.


Oh, you betcha. It starts the minute I walk out the door every day.

Those four laughing teens who nimbly jump the turnstiles to the subway while two of New York’s finest are engrossed in their smartphones? Excuse me, all of you. I’d like a word.

Oh, and you, in the back of the bus. Yes, you who seems to not actually need that cell phone given that you’re screaming loudly enough to easily be heard six blocks from here. Yes, you’re the one. Can it. Just hang up the phone exactly the way you’ve been threatening for the past ten minutes. Not one person on this bus wants to hear about your beef with whoever is dumb enough to stay on the phone listening to that stream of profanity.

It continues.

How is it possible that the cost of a half gallon of soy milk has gone up a dollar since last week? I demand some accountability here. Let me have a little sit-down with the board and we’ll get this straightened out.

Then I get back home with three bags of groceries only to find that the elevator isn’t working. Again. Time for me to have a word with management. What is the deal with these private equity geniuses who plunk down $250,000,000 for dozens of century-old buildings they have no intention of actually caring for? Give me an hour with them — and some serious leverage — and this will be sorted out.

While I have a number of ideas to be implemented in the lives of those around me which will improve things for them and everyone else in the vicinity, I’ve also got some ideas to get things back on track internationally.

Everyone in Brazil, listen up. As of this minute, not one more tree is to be cut down in the Amazon. Not one. All deforestation is to cease immediately with no exceptions. Additionally, all farm land “reclaimed” from previous rain forests is to be abandoned. There is more than enough food and money and resources to feed everyone in Brazil without needing to destroy a large contributor of oxygen to the planet. I happen to know of a country north of you with so much money it can afford to send billions of dollars worth of weapons all around the world.

Clearly time for me to have a word with them.

Meanwhile, let’s have a little heart to heart with Israel, hmmmm? Stop with the apartheid. Those bombs you’re dropping on Palestinians won’t keep you secure.

The people whose land you stole weren’t lobbing missiles at you before you began “settling” their territory. Face it, you’re going to have to commit genocide to stop the Palestinians from seeking their own country and land. You may remember another nation that set out to commit genocide in the last century. Didn’t work out so well for them…or you for that matter. Cut it out!

While we’re at it here, you Macron, you tête d’épingle qui respire par la bouche, rescind that stupid change to the retirement age in France and apologize. I have two words for you: Marie Antoinette.

Me? Threaten world leaders with bodily harm?

Talk about not minding my own business.

I suppose it might be considered a good thing that I’m not endowed with unlimited power to impose my will on the world. There could be other, better ways of ending conflict, providing the basics for all people, and ensuring that no one ever again injects collogen into their lips.

I’m open to suggestions.

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Covert dilettante with an omnivorous capacity for wonder. Writing because I can't not write. Always watching for the hidden patterns and connections. I don't know I cannot fly..........and so I do.

New York City, NY

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