Or we might tell you how to run your transit authority
“Please step away from the door” male computerized voice intruding on everyone’s ride except that of the person blocking the sensor and setting off the announcement. That oblivious rider has earbuds screwed in firmly and is staring at a screen (natch).
Please step away from the door — Please step away from the door — Please step away from the door
And on it goes.
But sometimes the reason no one is obeying the mildly authoritative instruction is because the bus is so packed that no one can move away from the sensor. And so Daddy blathers on endlessly instructing an increasingly cranky busload of captives to please step away from the door. Some escape at the next stop but another dozen are pushing on because the next bus is two miles away and people need to get to work, dammit.
Please step away from the doors.
Screw you, Metropolitan Transit Authority, and everyone with their hand in the overflowing pot of tax money that is the budget of the State of New York.
Do not even try to tell any of us crammed into your overcrowded M4 bus going up Broadway that there is no money for more buses and more drivers in the budget of the state that would have the tenth largest economy in the world if it were an independent country.
Just don’t.
If this country can open the taps to literally gush money for that little do-see-do in Ukraine, it can afford to run more buses and hire more drivers in The Greatest City in the World.
Not that it will, mind you.
This is a country with priorities and the needs of the people actually funding its various adventures are wayyyy down that list of priorities. Not only are we expected to keep funneling a third or more of our income into the coffers of the those questionable characters in charge, but let's be real clear about one thing. We best not get any bright ideas about continuing to earn that money in our jammies with the cat on our lap.
What, you hadn’t heard about the commercial real estate apocalypse? You’ve been working too hard, my friend.
So we can’t keep working from home but when we try to get to work via public transportation, we’re jammed into overcrowded buses with a wonky recording repeating itself like an idiot parrot. Please step away from the doors. Please step away from the doors.
PLEASE step away from the doors.
Please shut up and use the money you siphon out of our paychecks to provide universal affordable healthcare, decent housing for everyone, education that’s not indoctrination, and more buses.
Then you can ditch that stupid announcement.
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