Satire: My Small Contribution to Save Democracy

Remington Write

We do what we can
Look it up in The BookPhoto byTammy Remington

OK, listen up, politicians. All of you! Not just those in the red aisle or those in the blue aisle. Every one of you - ahem - public servants. You want to ensure you and your party stay in power for the next hundred years or so? Well, here I am to lay it on the line for you so pay attention. I absolutely cannot believe that a person like myself with no political or organizational credentials whatsoever has to school you — the professionals, no less — on how to win elections and stay in power.

You may have heard this catchy phrase: Representational Democracy.

This is what it means and I’ll repeat the following slowly so no one misses this. It's important. There will also be hand-outs with large print and lots of colorful pictures. Everyone comfortable? Got coffee or distilled water? Good.

Ready? Here it is:

Take care of the pressing needs of the people who voted for you.

It’s really that simple.

Even Boss Tweed had that one down. What’s your excuse?

You may easily have come to imagine that We The People are just a bunch of whining losers. After all, from inside your beautifully decorated homes and climate-controlled offices, it may appear that we’ve all got smartphones and that we spend all our time slinging garbage on social media.

As well we should considering you haven't been paying attention to the nightmares many of us are living. For every name-calling hate-spewer on social media there are a thousand people just trying to get by and with damned little help from you.

People are hurting and have been for a long time.

These injustices have certainly been happening since some geniuses - not pointing fingers here, of course - bailed out the banks in 2008 while letting millions of people lose their homes. And certainly since the last time you harangued us to vote for your candidate or lose to the demons of hell.

For all the good that did us.

What a shocker that a whole lot of us opted for the reality television performer who at least recognized our plight and put on a very well documented show to get elected. After four years of that, well it was close, but, yeah we came through for the other side.


We’re still waiting for all of you, any of you to come through for us.

Oh, you didn’t realize that this is a transactional relationship? What did you think we were doing this for? A chance to appear on America’s Got Talent?

Let us spell it out clearly.

Do these things and do them now then we’ll decide if you’re worth our time. And here's a tip: no complaining that these are Democratic or Republican agenda-items. They are going to improve the lives of the people who pay your salaries. These are also the same people who could decide they've had enough of your nonsense and vote you right back to the school board no matter how gerrymandered their districts have gotten.

  • Quit messing around and forgive all student loan debt as of today.
  • Fund public transportation in every city and town.
  • Divert money sent to "foreign aid" to provide counseling, therapists, and accessible mental health care to everyone who wants it.
  • Enforce the tax laws on the books and make sure your buddies, The Donors, are paying theirs.
  • Let people make their own decisions about their own bodies. All people.
  • Triple the funding for education and triple the pay of every teacher in the country.
  • Kick all private healthcare insurance companies to the curb and institute Medicaid for all immediately.
  • End all wars and "interventions" in all countries, close down every base in every country and bring our young people home.
  • Institute a universal service program for young people and pay them a generous living wage to clean our cities, tutor our children, and paint cool murals everywhere.
  • Provide significant tax breaks to all domestic manufacturers and stop sending jobs to places where people are expected to live on a dollar a day.
  • Change the national anthem to something we can all sing along with, preferably something that doesn't extol war.
  • Double all Social Security benefits payments immediately and stop taxing those benefits. You cannot seriously expect old people to pay taxes on income that was withheld from their paychecks after they’re too old to work. Can you?

You get the idea. Use your power to improve the lives of the people you want to win votes from. Bribe us.

And while you’re at it, back away from the donor trough. That money has corroded your humanity and turned you into slaves to special interests and lobbyists. You have it backwards, you were not elected to represent the interests of the billionaire donors. They only love you until they get their tax breaks or policy tweaks. Whereas, we will only love you if you remember whose interests you were actually elected to represent. And, trust us here, until you do that we will not love you. Another little thing you need to remember is there are a lot more of us than of you or them.

Oh, I was waiting for that. Detwiler over on the aisle thinks that was a threat. No way, Det, old man. That was a startling reality all politicians need to take into chambers with them every vote. And the smart politicians are going to realize that doing the Will of The People is what they've been expected to do all along. And is something for which they will be handsomely rewarded.

Insider tip: whichever political party learns this lesson will win every election.

Some of us - maybe more of us every day - are paying attention to what you do, not what you say you're doing.

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Covert dilettante with an omnivorous capacity for wonder. Writing because I can't not write. Always watching for the hidden patterns and connections. I don't know I cannot fly..........and so I do.

New York City, NY

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