Why a different set of circumstances won’t solve your problems.
How often do you hear someone say that their life would be a whole lot better if they just had “X”?
That they just need more money, more time, more experience, or something else that’s beyond themselves in order to finally start living the life they know they should?
Really, you could say that would be describing about 95% of the population, right?
According to Brendon Burchard, author of The Millionaire Messenger, most people’s lives are much like a field of half-dug holes.
They grab a shovel and begin digging in the search of wealth, happiness, and fulfillment. However, after a period of not seeing any results, they become disillusioned and move onto another spot.
The result? Most people are constantly busy, exhausted, never truly satisfied, and always looking for another set of circumstances. However:
The Problem Isn’t Your Circumstances. The Problem is You
“It is your decisions, not your conditions, that determine your destiny.” -Tony Robbins
If you really want to know the truth, your conditions are nothing more than a reflection of you. As James Allen has said, “Your circumstances reveal you to yourself.”
Indeed, everything in your life right now is there because you’ve allowed it. Your external conditions are simply an outward manifestation of your internal reality.
If you want something different, then you’ll have to hold yourself to a different standard. Until you change decisions and consequently who you are, your circumstances won’t. To quote Darren Hardy,
“To achieve what you have not, you must become what you are not. You have to grow into your goals.”
This really isn’t rocket science: Things don’t change, you change.
Your schedule doesn’t suddenly get cleared up. Instead, you must put tighter barriers on how you use your time. You don’t start making more money and suddenly become rich. Instead, you must develop new money habits.
Any exceptions to the rule, generally aren’t improvements, or won’t be permanent.
For example, most lottery winners quickly return to their poverty after having become overnight millionaires — their circumstances changed, but they didn’t change who they were, and thus, old patterns persisted.
To that, Jim Rohn has wisely quipped, “It is hard to keep that which has not been obtained through personal development.”
Hence, you must be the change you wish to see in your world. Until you become the person who creates your dreams, then you are simply delusional.
Surround Yourself with People Who Hold You to a Higher Standard than You Hold Yourself
“Don’t join an easy crowd; you won’t grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high.” -Jim Rohn
According to what psychologists call, “The Pygmalion Effect,” you’re either rising or falling to the expectations and demands of those around you.
Hence, if you are going to change your life by changing your circumstances, it can only be done by putting yourself into a situation that forces you to rise up.
You need people in your life who aren’t afraid to tell it to you straight.
You need people around you who are going to continually humble and inspire you to be more than you currently are.
Until you create an environment that literally forces you to become someone different, you’ll always be left wondering who you could have become. As Benjamin P. Hardy has said,
“Your level of talent and “potential” are irrelevant if you’re surrounded by people who don’t help you realize it. We all know many people who have unfulfilled potential. Don’t let that be you.”
It is your decisions, not your conditions, that determine your destiny. Thus, it’s time to stop blaming your circumstances and instead, create the conditions that you want.
Of course, there are going to be tough times. There will be obstacles. Although, instead of focusing on what happens to you, you need to focus on what you can do about it.
As Randy Pausch has said, “It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand.”
Similarly, Dan Sullivan once wrote, “All those things that oppose your goal are actually the raw material for achieving them.”