Anger and frustration - who doesn’t struggle with them at various points in life?
Teenagers probably have to bear the brunt of it during their growing years. Just like love and happiness, these two are emotions you just cannot do away with. There is not a relationship under the sun where the impact of these emotions is not felt.
What’s ironic is that these emotions generally tend to show up with those that we love the most.
Perhaps, because of the closeness we experience, we justify such emotions. But, it’s not healthy at all to let these emotions run free in any relationship.
Anger and frustration have to be managed and when you do so, you display maturity.
Think back to times when you experienced them, what did you do?
Perhaps, you got into a shouting match, complained, tried to have the upper hand in an interaction, or just simply shut down. While these are immediate reactions in response to anger and frustration, they cause more damage to the relationship than solve anything. Be mature in recognizing when you feel these impulses or see them in another. Know that they can be controlled and managed.
When you are experiencing these emotions, either extreme is bad.
There is no point escalating the issue by reacting to it or just shutting down.
The best option is to agree to stop and come back to resolve the issue later. This needs to be done way before things get out of control. When you step away from the heat of the moment, you have a chance to think rationally, organize your thoughts, and give yourself the time to reflect on your reaction and that of the others involved.
This allows for rationalization and action that is more deliberate and justified than just escalated reactions where you’re not in control of the outcome. Shutting down also escalates anxiety and it’s better to talk through than do nothing.
When in such a turbulent situation, you’re in control of yourself than the other party.
The best you can do is manage yourself and hopefully through that, influence further interaction. Being calm is the most effective way to control any situation from escalating. When you manage yourself, you allow the other person to react accordingly since they will see that your reaction is not what they expected.
When you try to control another, you just end up aggravating the situation. Communicate and share your thoughts, but while managing yourself. Act mature and you’ll receive the same, eventually.
Oftentimes, in a conflict situation, we tend to confer with a friend or relative, just as a sounding board. Trying to manage your stress by complaining to a third party may seem right in the moment, but is not. You’re looking to assuage your emotions through this and not making any amends in the process. There is not a need for a third party in a conflict between any two. It just makes it that much more complicated.
Try staying calm, don’t seek affirmation of your thoughts, and if you do need to consult a third party, seek out someone who can be impartial and listen to provide accurate feedback.
We all tend to tint our image of people with biases we may carry. Don’t let such biases carry through to the next time you interact with someone. Look beyond what happened in the past. Don’t let your emotions dictate your interaction now. Learn to forgive and forget. It’ll do you a ton of good, emotionally, and health-wise too.
It’s also not healthy to let anger and frustration continue to simmer without acting on them. They can affect your physical and mental health.
Remember, what we project is what we will experience, When you act mature and calm, you’ll receive the same.