How to Find Hobbies to Share with your Partner

Rachel Yerks

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My boyfriend and I are very different people. He has his life together but acts like a child, and I act like an adult but don't have my life together. It's a unique balance. For the first year of our relationship, we didn't have anything in common besides our status as foodies.

Our "foodie" statuses helped us with date-night planning and finding cool festivals to go to, but it also helped us eat way too much. We realized we needed to find something else to do together or we'd be in separate rooms doing our respective hobbies. Plus, weight becomes an issue when you're older, even if you're tall.

It might seem hard to find hobbies to share, but I assure you, it isn't. If all else fails, there's another way to share hobbies. Don't give up easily! It's important for a healthy relationship.

1. Pick something outside both of your comfort zones

Neither of us was big into board games. We played some with friends every once and a while and had a great time, but we didn't want to be seen as too nerdy. I actively pushed against having a board game collection for a while, and my boyfriend did too. We didn't want to spend the money, either.

Because we both enjoyed playing board games occasionally, we decided to start playing more frequently. It turned into one of our most popular date nights, complete with a nice dinner and a television show. We've also turned into nerds.

I'm pleased to state our board game collection now includes over forty unique titles. You'd be hard-pressed to find a strategy game we don't own nowadays.

2. Do your hobbies separately, together

My boyfriend loves video games. I don't mind him playing, but I do mind that he wants me to play with him for quality time. I had a seizure thanks to a 16-hour videogame marathon a few years ago, and I get addicted to things very easily. Since then I've been careful not to play video games regularly.

Instead, I like to write. It's my job and my hobby. I also like to read articles from my fellow writers and comment on their posts in my free time. Nowadays, I do all this while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend as he plays video games. We spend time together while pursuing our respective interests.

You can put your own interests first while also spending time with your partner. As long as you are both respectful of your individual hobbies, you can do them in the same room together, but separately. It feels like you're getting your alone time at the same time as your couple time.

Sharing hobbies really works well for us. Our relationship is stronger for it. I want to note that shared hobbies need not be expensive. Exercising together is another great way to make a relationship stronger, both figuratively and literally.

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Owings Mills, MD
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