Why There's No Way To "Fix" or Cure A Narcissist


Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

You see, a Narcissist will willfully misrepresent their disordered thinking and behavior and even try to “game” the therapist. The person with NPD will not admit that there is anything wrong with them, unless they are “gaming” the therapist.

And even then, fleeting admittance that they are disordered, doesn’t mean they’re going to put in the work to get better. Even if they shock me and admit that they’ve screwed up, I guarantee you that they won’t put in the effort to work on their issues.

Essentially, the Narcissist will create a grandiose fake version of themselves that they project over their real self, and that fake self has no flaws, is always right, never loses, and won’t change because it’s like a static picture of somebody they wish they were.

This fake self image is so inflexible that changing it would feel like a death sentence to the narcissist. Because they would have to admit that they were wrong all of this time.

People with NPD feel entitled to behave the way they do, and they may even have seemingly good reasons, like abuse stemming from their past. But unlike regular abuse victims, they have mimicked the abusive role model, and are committed to perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

Some people come out of abusive childhoods damaged and vowing never to perpetuate the cycle. And some people come out damaged, but are (oftentimes inadvertently) committed to continuing the cycle, or else the problem of abuse would have been solved long ago, after the first narcissist beat his first victim(s).

They will “game” the therapist, you, their friends and family, until the day they die. I have narcissistic siblings who went through therapy, and took medications, the supposed cures for narcissism… but they won’t talk about how angry they are with any intention of fixing it, they rather fly into rages and scream at the therapist in a public place.

Truth be told, Narcissists have a very treatment-resistant disorder because they actually don’t wanna be cured. They see that as something like admitting defeat. They see themselves as victims against this hateful, cold world.

Some people come out of traumatic experiences damaged and scarred. But somebody had to do the scarring, right?

Simply put, a person unwilling to look inward to getting better for the sake of themselves and those around them will be not be “cured.”

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A writer who’s in a constant state of self-reflection sharing my perspective with the world.

Pittsburgh, PA

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