How Narcissists Deal With Confrontation

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I do not think telling a narcissist that he or she is in fact a narcissist would be an endeavor that would yield any positive or constructive results. Once the narcissist knows a person is honing in on the truth of things, the narcissist will feel threatened and resort to…

Gaslighting

Making you doubt your sanity, denying everything done to you, because deep down inside they know you very well and they have tested you early. Causing drama out of the blue, and you allowed them to walk away with it. They know how addicted you are to them and how much you suffer for them, they know you better than they know their palm, so if they walked away back in the days they know for sure that you are going to allow them to walk away now, not because you can’t seem to differ that they are lying, but because you chose to endure and suck their lies up and stick to their side. We teach people how to treat us, you allow them to cross your boundaries and they will do it no problem.

Projecting

They will basically project their turmoil, lies and manipulations to you keeping you responsible for them. You will end up apologizing profusely to them, because deep down inside, you love them very much and you are craving their attentions. You will end up looking dishearteningly desperate. Apologizing for the things you never done and behind their will, be inclined to also apologize on their toxic behavior.

Stone Walling

They will switch the topic when you ask a question or simply not answer at all. Basically they’ll answer the parts that they like and deny the parts that they disfavor, especially if you are seeking for closure or answers like: Why did their behavior changed against you, what did you do wrong etc. Never getting a clear answer or explanation, because there was never an answer to begin with. Perhaps it was never love and they merely idealized you for a moment in time. And in the end, moving forward from one victim to another like nothing happened. Unprovoked.

Silent Treatment

They will prolong their silent treatment each time you call them on their toxic behavior or try to discuss your sufferings or the damage that they’ve caused you. With this they’ll neutralize your attempts to call them on their toxic behavior, taking no responsibility for it and avoiding you as a response to maintain their fake persona. It’s their defensive mechanism. After all, they are bored.

Emotionally Withhold

They will emotionally withhold each one of the days with dull conversations and dull messages. Remaining on the neutral ground meaning:

No more attention
No more love
No more affection
No more big smiles
No more meetings
No more heart emojis

So what is happening in here in reality?

Nothing is happening, you got devalued meaning that they got bored of you and you got replaced quickly by someone new, exciting in their eyes. Now you are refusing to leave hoping for the impossible, searching for the old person, while the old person never existed to begin with, they never loved you, they have no clue what love means, they can never love anyone including themselves, they loved the way that you made them feel about themselves. This is called idealization and obsession, a short lived thing that happens quick and then disappears.

That’s the main difference between love and Idealization.

What to do?

Now you could either accept it or not. No matter what you do, little to nothing will change. You will just end up more hurt at the end of the day. Regardless of how good you were to them, they’ll devalue you. It’s almost inevitable. Instead, move forward to someone stable who really loves and appreciates you. Someone who is far suitable does not change their feelings like the wind.

Move forward, because you don’t have another choice, the longer you stay the longer you get hurt.

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A writer who’s in a constant state of self-reflection sharing my perspective with the world.

Pittsburgh, PA
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