Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash
I had to kiss a few toads before I found my prince charm.
When I met my husband, our relationship was anything but smooth.
After our first honeymoon period, things got serious pretty much right away and, because of some life events, we started living together very soon into the relationship.
At the start, we weren't seeing eye to eye on so many things, and we definitely weren't ready for a domestic partnership, however after a while, we started to get used to each other and gain trust so as a consequence we found a compromise on many more things.
Compromise doesn't have to be forced, otherwise one will end up extremely unhappy, it should be more of a natural thing that happens after a while in a relationship. If it doesn't then, there is definitely something wrong that needs revising.
The Man Of Your Dreams Will...
...Care For Your Needs:
He will always be attentive to you. The instinct of a man is to protect, to provide, he's the one who takes care of his family.
If these things are missing and you find yourself wearing the pants in the relationship is possible that he doesn't care enough to make an effort. Don't get me wrong, nowadays there are men that act like women and let the woman take care of everything, if you're ok with that, then nothing wrong, I personally don't believe that reversing the roles is a good idea.
I say this because I was in a relationship with the likes and it was constant arguing and disagreeing. You have instincts that are different from his, you will naturally end up wanting someone who takes care of you emotionally and financially. This doesn't mean be lazy and let him do everything, but a man needs to act like a man.
...Never Ghost You
"He's just playing tough guy", you're lying to yourself.
The reality is that you're just not that important to him, and that's the harsh truth.
A man that wants you will constantly court you and show his love for you. He will shower you with messages and calls, he will bring you flowers and even gifts. That's what men do when they love a woman!
Don't lie to yourself, if he doesn't reply to your calls and you find yourself having to keep chasing him, just give up. You should never be courting a man, it's something that automatically turns a man off.
...Make The First Move
When my husband and I met, I showed him my interest and there is nothing wrong with that, what's wrong is showing that you're desperate for love, so desperate that you would let him step on your pride and plainly disrespect you. This is exactly why some men take advantage of a woman's kindness. They will take her for granted and know that no matter how they treat her or what they do to her, she will always be coming back crawling at his feet. There's no worse mistake than this. Have some respect for yourself.
...Introduce You To His Friends And Family
A man that loves a woman will want to show her to the world. All of these "I'm not really the social media type", or "I'm just a reserved guy" don't really matter at this point. Trust me, if a man loves you he will shout his love for you everywhere. He will talk about you on the phone every time, he will even talk about you on his socials.
Take it from my experience, my husband is very reserved and never liked to show his private life on his social media, he never posted any pictures of any girlfriend and now he's the first to post pictures of us and express his love.
If a man loves you he will want his mum, sister, aunt, brother, best friend to know, you won't be a secret, you won't be hidden.
...Make Plans For The Future
After some time you guys are dating, he will start making plans for the future, if he doesn't then maybe he's not too sure of the relationship.
The following scenario has probably happened to anyone of us:
he's dating you and says he doesn't want a relationship, then right after you break up he's suddenly into a relationship. He's just not that into you and you need to move on, this is the truth. A man that loves a woman will do anything to keep her. Yes, a man will make mistakes but so will you, however, he will do anything to make up for them because if he loves you he wouldn't want to lose you.
...Tell You That He Loves You
Even the coldest hearted man will melt at the sight of his princess.
Even if he's an introvert or a man of a few words, love will change him,
love is the kind of feeling that changes everyone.
If he loves you he will tell you and you will have no doubts, his actions will show it, his words will show it.
My husband used to have this wall of coldness just to hide his real emotions, just as the majority of men. Usually, men that seem cold on the outside put on a defence because they have a lot to give and they are scared to get hurt, it's up to you to break up his walls! Gain his trust and he will give you his heart.
In conclusion, my most important tip is to be the best woman you can be to him. Playing games has never made anyone happy, take it from someone that made this mistake in the past.
If he's playing with you, if you have doubts that he's not serious with you there is no point for you to play mind games, it is just going to destroy your relationship.
You have to find a good balance between not giving up too easily and not sounding too desperate. Sit down and have a talk with him, show him that you have no intention to break his heart, for as much as you think that men are strong and cold, sometimes they are scared to get hurt as much as we do.