Coffee Dates: The Perfect Date or a Dud?

Niki Marinis

There’s a time and a place, and it’s not a weekend night

Photo Art by Katie Dutch

“I’d love to meet you in person, are you free this Friday?” he asked over the phone.

One of the last online dates I met, before I mercifully quit that nonsense, and I had been talking on the phone for about a week. It was time for a face-to-face to see what our true chemistry/attraction was.

“Sure. What did you have in mind?”

“There’s a Starbucks at Hollywood & Highland, lets meet there for coffee,” he said.

***Tires Screeching***


On a Friday Night?

…in Hollywood?

You know those dating commercials that say “Actual First Date” at the bottom of the screen, when the two people awkwardly meet in front of a restaurant and then laugh and flirt over sushi and drinks? I’d love to go back to those awful online dates. The guys I met online slowly transitioned to being all about the coffee date.

When did coffee become every guys idea of a perfect date?

I mean, I get it, a coffee date is cheap and can end quickly if needed. But too many guys seem to feel like they’re really “doing something” if they ask to meet you for coffee. Hell, half the guys who’ve asked me to coffee don’t even drink coffee.

I feel like if a guy is going to use the “lets meet for coffee” approach, he absolutely cannot try to book it on a Friday or Saturday night. That’s prime weekend time.

If I’m a single girl, my Friday and Saturday Nights are for going out with my friends, or for dates that are based around meals, activities or maybe cocktails. Not paper cups with plastic lids and cardboard slip covers.

Okay, so back to Mr. Coffee… I hesitated trying to figure out a way to say how I felt about his proposed date.

“I’d love to meet you but there has to be something else we can do on a Friday night in Hollywood,” I cooed.

“Well, I really want to talk and get to know you. I think Starbucks is nice and quiet. We can talk over a cup of coffee,” he said. He sounded pleased with himself.

“There’s lots of restaurants that are nice and quiet, too,” I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

Starbucks is not a quiet French cafe. Between the espresso machine, Frappuccino blender, baristas yelling out orders, and the “artist of the month” playing over the speakers, that place can be far from romantic.

Not to mention he wanted to meet at the Starbucks at Hollywood & Highland on Hollywood Boulevard by the Chinese Theater in the heart of Hollywood.

For those who don’t live in California, Hollywood is like Disneyland with homeless people.

I could hear in his voice he was trying to romanticize the Starbucks thing when, at the end of the day, he just wanted a cheap date. Which again, I have zero problem with. Weekend afternoon? Sure thing. Early weekday evening? You bet. But NOT on a Friday night.

I was backed into a corner because I’d already said I was free, but I refused to waste my Friday night in Hollywood drinking coffee.

Ultimately, I gave him 24 hours notice that I’d have to cancel our coffee date. Maybe I was being high maintenance but I just couldn’t do it.

How do YOU feel about coffee dates? Love ‘em? Hate ‘em?

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I'm an original. A Warhol. You're just a print. I like thrift store owls, true crime, and breaking hearts.

Ventura, CA

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