How To Know If Your Friends Are For Life

Nicole Sudjono

True friends will help you go through life together.

As the saying goes,

People come and go, but the right ones will stay.

As we grow up, we come to realize that not everyone stays in your life. But if we find the right ones, they will stay best friends with you no matter the distance. And they are the ones whom you want to have in your life.

Over the years, I have been blessed to still be able to keep a few friends from my former school, college, and workplaces in my life. These are the people who kept me sane, supported me along the way, and the people whom I won’t be awkward with when we reunite.

And blessedly, in this digital era, I was still able to keep in touch with them today.

Being With The Right Friends Is Very Therapeutic

A study showed that the stronger your circle is, the better your mental health will be. This can come from friends or family, but having the closest person in your life can truly help you to be happier. Having a strong connection with someone can:

  1. Decrease your stress level
  2. Improve your mood
  3. Increase your immunity to illness
  4. Improve your relationships with others

Having someone to talk to is the best thing that could ever happen to you, especially at a time where we must keep our social distance and are encouraged to stay at home.

They are willing to listen to you and you feel safe to tell them anything that is in your head. I felt safe when I spoke with one of my closest friends whom I have known for a decade.

At the end of the day, after I spoke with them, I felt better. As if a weight had been lifted after I let everything out knowing someone listened to what I said, especially when I ranted about my anxieties. It was very therapeutic.

All in all, having the right friend by your side will help you to be more positive in life. It doesn’t matter how hard things get, you will manage better than being on your own.

Being Alone Is More Dangerous

I used to think that being alone is better, but going rogue without having anyone to talk to is worst. It feels like you are helpless without anyone supporting you.

Sometimes being alone is peaceful and quiet, but if one stays there for too long, it can lead to bigger problems. For loneliness is a silent killer.

Studies showed that isolation can lead to problematic mental illness that can affect your own health. The effects it gives to one’s body are the complete opposite of when you have friends, in fact, it showed that being alone is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Being alone can lead to:

  1. Increase of chronic illness
  2. Terrible mental health
  3. Eating disorders
  4. Decrease of immunity to diseases and
  5. Worst case scenario, suicidal thoughts.

As you can see here, this loneliness can greatly mess with us, physically and mentally. That is why loneliness is a silent killer.

As we grow older, we realize that we are going to lose a lot of friends and we just don’t know whom to turn to and how to find that one person with whom we can share our concerns, excitements, and dreams.

And that is why having a loyal friend is important for us to get through our life. They are the ones willing to walk through life together with you.

But how do you find those friends who are willing to walk through life together? In fact, how do you know who are friends for life?

1) The Right Friends Will Put In A Lot Of Effort To Keep In Touch

Staying in the long game is the most important if you want a friendship to last a lifetime. In fact, 80% of the time, you need to ensure that you are still interacting with them whether through chats or face to face.

Normal friends usually don’t make time to talk to you frequently, you don’t feel that same happiness as talking to your close friends.

No matter the distance you have with someone, this is actually a test for you and your friend whether you both are willing to take the time to contact each other.

True friends will keep in touch with you no matter the distance. It’s a sign that they still want you in their lives and vise versa. So if you found a friend who is still in contact with you, then you have found the friend you want to keep in your life as it goes on.

An excellent example of a true friendship that lasts long no matter where they are is Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift. They both were friends in 2012, and they wrote a song together called Everything Has Changed in 2013. After that, both singers supported each other during their downtimes no matter how far they were.

They now live in different countries, but oftentimes, during interviews together, both singers would tell interviewers or show on camera that they were genuinely best friends. Ed Sheeran also helped co-write a song with Taylor Swift on her song End Game, released in 2017.

As you can see here, these two singers proved that you can still be best friends no matter the distance.

2) They Will Listen To Any Good/Bad News You Share With Them

The best friends you will ever have in your life are people who are willing to listen to whatever is bothering or excites you. Even with the smallest issue or news, they are willing to still listen to you.

Jordan Peterson said that to find your true friend, you have to observe whether they (or you) are willing to listen to you when you share good or bad news. This proves that they genuinely care about you.

The power of listening to someone is tremendous in a relationship. It can strengthen your bonds as you both share news, crisis, conflicts. In a way, you both are being supportive of one another, as you are willing to hear each other out.

This is because you both are being open to each other. Just like workplaces, when one is being open-minded, you are letting opportunities in as well. In this case, the traits of being open to someone is that you are:

  1. Trying to connect with that person
  2. Listen to others carefully
  3. Restrict from judging

As you can see, it’s all about connecting with someone. If you are not allowing yourself to be open, then it’s going to defeat the purpose to be close with someone.

In a relationship, we all want to connect so that there is effective communication when we are talking to each other, even if it means you are showing your vulnerability. That is why being open is very important, leading to my next point…

3) They Accept You For Who You Are

Being open to each other is a way to let them know better about yourself, that way, they know who you are. It’s also a test on whether they accept you, including your bad side.

Accepting someone doesn’t mean that you have to agree to everything they say. It just means that they accept the good and bad things about you unconditionally.

I read a story about the loving friendship of Thomas Edison and Henry Ford. When Edison couldn’t move his legs anymore and was confined in a wheelchair, Ford would buy one for himself and they both could race each other.

As you can see here, Ford accepted Edison even though he wasn’t able to walk anymore. This shows that, no matter how one would turn out to be, a loyal friend will accept who you are.

When Edison knew that he may not live long, he gave Ford his last breath in a tube for his best friend.

4) Lastly, They Are Your Biggest Fans

Your loyal friend tends to be your biggest fan, they’ll do whatever it takes to see you at the top.

I say ‘biggest fan’ because according to the Macmillan dictionary, a big fan is someone who admires a certain individual who is famous or important.

Now if you have ever seen the fans of important individuals say in a football stadium. You see all the audience wearing shirts that belong to certain teams, they cheer as loud as possible for the team and encourage the players to strike a goal so that they can win.

Just as discussed above, like big fans, you will find out that true friends will support you in whatever battles you are going through. They are the ones willing to:

  1. Reach out to you
  2. Listen to whatever news you are sharing
  3. Accept who you really are
  4. And support you like a true fan.

All in all, this makes up that a true friend is loyal to you until the end.

As the saying goes,

People come and go, but the right ones will stay.

Real friends want to stay in your life. They’ll do whatever it takes to contact you more often and support you until you reach your goal.

Kate Winslet & Leonardo DiCaprio’s Friendship

I want to end this article with an example of a true friend in our generation I find very inspirational, Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio’s friendship.

You may know them best as the main characters of the movie Titanic, and where they first met back in 1997.

Many of you may have known about their true friendship when they both react to each other’s acceptance awards that turned into a huge meme as well back in 2016.

But the real reason for their strong bond was due to their support for one another. When Kate lost her mother to cancer, and her former marriage was falling apart, Leo made time to help her get back up and took care of her children.

And when Leo finally got his Oscar award, she made sure to be there to see it and she was the happiest among the audience when he finally accepted his award. That was the day where we saw the true reaction of a real friend who was happy to see success.

As you can see here, the true and right friends for you will stay loyal for a lifetime. It doesn’t matter where you are or what backgrounds you both have, they will be there for you until the very end.

And that’s the best thing that can ever happen to you, to have friends for life.

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