Dating and White-Clawing

Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue

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If you are dating and trying to find the one that you connect with you might have found yourself in the situation where you have started dating someone because of their physical attraction even though the two of you don't have anything in common on an emotional level. You might be trying to gear away from doing this, but in the process, you might have found this difficult. So, how do you get to know someone on an emotional level without letting his or her physical attractiveness take over? How do you concentrate on a person's personality first? Though the answers to these questions might be different for everyone, here are a few suggestions.

1. Talk on the phone first.

If you are trying to focus on a person's personality instead of what he or she looks like, you might try talking on the phone during the first stages of getting to know each other. This can take away the physical distractions, allowing you to focus on what the person is about and what the other person wants out of his or her life.

2. Text each other.

Use text messaging to ask each other the questions that you want to know so you have time to reflect on your likenesses and differences. Determine how much the two of you have in common as you get to know each other, and if you find that you have a lot in common and want to take the next step, then ask the person out so you can talk face to face.

3. Go on a blind date.

Have your close friends help you in choosing someone to go out with. They probably know what you both want and need, so let them find someone for you and go out with him or her. Be open-minded when you meet the other person and do your best to give him or her a chance. You might find that the two of you connect on more than one level.

4. Make a list.

Reflect on the things that you want out of a relationship and write a list of questions to ask the other person when you go out. This might help prevent you from getting distracted, and you can reflect on the other person's answers later to see if the two of you have similar view points.

Trying to find someone that you connect with can be a difficult process, but if you take away the distractions, you might find it easier to figure out if the two of you share the same interests and want the same things out of a relationship.

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Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue writes lifestyle articles.

Omaha, NE
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