Get away from the abyss of feeling like a loser.
Success is staggering from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill.
Have you ever felt that you are a failure no matter what you do or how hard you try? I assure you, you are not alone.
Even if you see the people around you smiling, happy with what they do, this is not always the case. It is difficult for everyone to show themselves and express their emotions; this makes us vulnerable. Remember, you can’t judge a book by its cover.
We understand the failure when something does not go as expected; Maybe you spent a lot of time studying for an exam, but your grade was low, or you worked a lot on a company project, and your supervisors didn’t pass it.
Learn, one or many failures do not make you a failure, much less a loser.
You can learn from my experience
That feeling of disappointment and disenchantment with yourself is more common than you think. I felt like this many times. In college, I had such good grades, but I didn’t feel capable enough.
At work, I also felt the same; even though I managed to go from assistant to manager quickly, I felt that perhaps I was lucky, that I did not deserve that position. However, many times I was aware that I was performing my work well.
But there came a time when I reflected; I thought: “It was not possible that the good things that had happened to me were just a stroke of good luck.” I must have done something good to have achieved what I did. So I focused on working on that.
Ways to leave the feeling of being a fraud
You feel like a failure when something doesn’t go as expected; Maybe you spent a lot of time studying for an exam, but your grade was low, or you worked a lot on a company project, and your supervisors didn’t pass it.
You definitely don’t have to feel that way; here are some tips that helped me, and I trust I will do with you.
1. Analyze if you are really doing it right
If you feel like a fraud, you should do two things, first identify if you are giving your best to make things go well for you. We must be clear; you may not be striving for what you want. This does not mean that you are a failure, simply that you have to give a little more of yourself.
If you know that you are giving your all and still feel frustrated, the first thing is to self-analyze what is happening. Is it your environment? Are they your friends? Are your goals very high in the short term? Those feelings come from somewhere. The first thing is to identify them.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
In this world, we all have a way of being, of behaving, and we should also have our own goals. Your coworker has managed to rise in position before you or have a higher salary. That does not make you less professional.
All your friends are already married and have children, and you aren’t? It does not mean anything. Each one must live by his convictions and his own time.
Always will have people who achieve things before and after you. That shouldn’t confuse you. Society has imposed a time for everything for which you do not necessarily have to adapt. I repeat: Live at your own pace.
There will always be better and worse people than you; if you want to compete, do it with yourself and try to improve yourself every day, but at your own pace, not others. Do not be pressured by society.
We know that the competition is fierce these days, but if you let yourself be pressured by what others want you to achieve, you will stop being yourself. Visualize your goals and focus on them, no matter what others say.
If your goal is to go abroad and not have a car of the year, go for it; the achievements are personal, not those of those around you, and do not let anyone make you think otherwise.
3. Live according to your budget
We are social beings. We all need to have fun and go out from time to time, but choose well with whom you do it.
If the friends you choose are well above your standard of living, you may not be able to follow the same level of expenses, or worse, to achieve them, you go into debt, which will cause you not to advance in worthwhile things for you.
In this order, learn to say NO. You don’t have to do everything your friends or coworkers do. You should say NO without guilt; it’s not your problem if others don’t like it.
4. Work on your self-esteem
Self-esteem is essential. If your self-esteem is low, you will not love yourself no matter how hard you work and how much others value you.
Read books that help you improve your self-esteem, identify your strengths, learn to define what you are good at. All this will lead you to change your perception of seeing yourself and help you in your life projects.
5. Focus on the present
You may not have done very well in the past, but the past is already. If you made mistakes before, learn from them and forget about the rest. Concentrate on working on your present.
Too often give importance to the past, and we do not value what we live today. If you used to be very shy, lagging, or messy, remember the opportunities you missed by being like that and focus on the person you are now.
The present is everything.
You can do it!
If you always live thinking about what people say or that you should have certain things at your age, you will live the life that others want them to live and not the one you want to live.
Too often feel like a fraud or a failure just because we are not who others want us to be. Remember, you are solely responsible for your life, including your projects, wishes, goals, and dreams. Forget what people will say and move on.
If you failed, it means that you tried; who does not fail in life is because he never tried. A successful person is a result of having failed as many times as necessary.
I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. — Michael Jordan