One of my favorite writers, Stephen Pressfield says:
"If you were meant to cure cancer or crack cold fusion and you don't do it, you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself. You hurt your children, you hurt me, you hurt the planet. You shame the angels who watch over you and you spite God Almighty, who created you and only you with your unique gifts, for the sole purpose of nudging the human race one millimeter further along its path back to God."
Here are six ways to make your life suck a little less.
1. You must understand the pride paradox.
Pride is paradoxically causing regression or progress in your relationships and life.
If you want to change into something more, happier, better, or wiser, you must let go of the pride that keeps you stuck. If you're too proud to admit weakness or that you need help, you won't be able to change because you're too proud to admit you have anything to change.
On the other hand, if you can see how proud you'll be after your growth happens or focus on taking pride in the new effort that transformational change requires, you'll get unstuck from the pride paradox and grow.
2. You worry about the world's response instead of being it.
Feelings are fleeting, but responses aren't.
Your constant and consistent response to your partner (and the world) is probably the most important part of having a better, happier life.
Respond poorly, and live angry in the shadow of your poor choices.
Respond wisely, and live under the shade of the tree you purposely planted.
A good life starts with the self-awareness of knowing how, where, and why you want to drive your car in the direction you're going.
Living without self-awareness is driving with a blindfold on. You'll likely hit a cliff, tree, or crash. Living with it is knowing the direction of your journey is just as important as the destination.
Drive towards your destination but focus on enjoying your journey. Stop and smell the roses. Take pictures of the sunsets. Eat good food together. Make memories you'll never forget. This is the response to a good life.
3. A good life is a Rudyard Kipling’s poem:
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
A good life shapes your existence by understanding your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and experiences between the spaces of meaningful things, hobbies, people, pets, partners, travel, and passions (or, in my case, sentences).
4. You are the storyteller of your relationships.
You can keep reading or changing the narrative of your story.
We can all stop, get up, and leave in the middle of a bad movie. Does your relationship need work? Does it need you to get up and change? Or do you need to leave?
We can all ignore the story our ego keeps trying to write.
Listen to your story and see how it feels. Is that what you want your story to say?
If not, respond and choose something else to write in.
If what you're doing feels good, commit and keep doing it.
If it doesn’t, f*cking edit your story.
5. You must listen to what moves you.
But question those feelings with consistent action. If you want to be a beach bum surfer, go do it. Paddle out early in the morning. Get flipped upside down in cold water. Bash your face on the ground. Wipe out. Ride a tunnel.
Live in alignment with what moves you and see if your actions fit and feel good over time.
If you want to be an author, write.
If you want to create nuclear fusion in cars, go get your physicist Ph.D.
Wonder which direction you want to drive your car.
By doing the thing that moves you as much as you can; your craft, the art, the music, the meditation, the fusion, the parenting, your passion; by doing it over and over, you choose the thing, and it will either choose to ignite and sustain you (or it won't).
6. Take radical responsibility.
A friend of mine said responsibility is just responding to what you want and should respond to. What aren't you responding to that will make your life as good as it should be?
Radially respond to your life. To the people who need and call you. To the ideas you have floating around in your head that stay there and wake you up at night. To the unfinished things that move you that you stay too proud to admit.
Good luck out there,
Ps. What Are 8 Things You Should Never Stop Doing No Matter How Old You Are?
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