Dating Advice for Men: Tip #209

Dating Advice for Men: Tip #209

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

My dating advice for men that wonder when they can stop being lonely, or have intimate sex, or change their dating direction (or life direction) could start with knowing this: change is possible, especially if you start small and simple. 

This leads me to this rather not-so-unique dating advice for men idea. I believe the law of attraction is about understanding how to change one’s mentality from moment to moment so you can attract a person that actually fits you better from moment to moment.

VUE-LAH!

You can stop reading now. 

Jk.

Or if you like suffering through my handyman dating brain, let’s be honest, you or I, or president Trump have no idea what is going to happen (or what we will tweet), tomorrow.

I could kick the bucket. Get ball cancer. Go completely bald. Become infertile.

Who the hells knows, right?

The one thing I do know is American modern society isn’t built for us hoping for true love singles anymore. The idea of sharing, cooperation, trust, unity, and community is lost in the modern age of America. Toxic online dating culture has infiltrated us all and worse, singles don’t get to meet a ton of cool, interesting, fun, and thoughtful singles through normal socialization models anymore.

“Hey Betty, could you pass me the honey?” I’d like to ask at the neighborhood picnic.

“Sure, Mr. Mullet.”

Says no one, ever.

Women (half the time which is all of the time), don’t even like when you approach them in real life because they are used to emoji texting in online dating nowadays (I took some liberties there, sorry ladies).

But why does any of this matter?

Men and women have to talk and understand each other through a different medium now, but how we act and what we say affects who we meet and attract nonetheless. How we act and what we say is either really authentic, or it isn’t, and therein lies the problem.

You can’t fake authenticity.

And people can sniff that shit out a mile away.

And this is my dating advice for men tip #302: authenticity is where we should want to reside — with friends, with lovers, with business, and family.

Why would I want to be anyone but my truest self?

But what if my truest self is a self-absorbed, narcissistic, and ungrateful BI#@CH?

Well, then I’m going to keep reaping what I sow.

And yet, why would I want to be around anyone that doesn’t bring me their authentic joy, humor, perspective, love, gratitude, and compassion?

And that’s the goddamn advice — stop faking who you are for the sake of getting someone to like you for who you aren’t.

This dating advice goes for a lot of things:

Stop being a fat ass if you want to be a fit mofo.

Stop being shady if you want to trust other people.

Stop being a distrustful prick if you want healthy, trusting, and open communication.

I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow within my love life, and my mentality towards monogamy may change, but I know one thing: my attitude towards online dating and life could always use more gratitude.

And here’s my last piece of sh*t sandwich dating advice for men: the women I may or may not fall in love with deserve a man that is aware of what he has, and lives an authentic, grateful life.

Skip the drama. Skip the BS. Let go of the Jones mentality and find happiness in being your best self — not the alcoholic, shady, self-absorbed prick that wants to be right rather than happy.

PS.-This is not easy for me either. I swear at myself every day for doing douchebag stuff, eating a donut, falling off the wagon, and yet, I have to remind myself that life isn’t guaranteed — and get back up and decide who I want to be again and again.

This happens in the smallest of moments.

Our dating lives happen in the smallest of moments.

Do you really want this life?

What do you want more of in your life?

Be grateful for this epiphany, that humans are wired to change if they so choose.

You are alive. You have two legs, a heart that pumps blood, and a mind/body/soul that wants more authenticity, happiness, and gratitude.

You cannot lie to yourself anymore.

Society conditioned you to progress ahead at all costs, but the truth is, we are happier when we can find love, authenticity, and community.

Show me one person that doesn’t have those things that is happy, and I’ll empty my one thousand dollar bank account for you.

This is the ultimate status symbol: internal and external freedom. Having the freedom from feigning a life that isn’t yours is status.

My conclusion is this: it’s this simple dating advice for men that often goes overlooked.

You can attract women with gratitude and authenticity if you understand who you are and what you want.

If you don’t want superficial barbies, then don’t take bathroom selfies and post them to get admirers.

Focus on improving your gratitude mentality day after day. Define your values and live an authentic life that connects to those values (hopefully, they aren’t sh*tty ones). I can think of a few that bring more joy and happiness (and sex): love, community, humor, trust, presence, and compassion. 

Good luck, I look forward to seeing who you attract next!