I'm worried I'll be raising a spoiled child

Modern Parent

Growing up, my parents and my in-laws had a similar story. Both sets of parents were first-generation immigrants who came to the United States with nothing and worked their way up through odd jobs and restaurant work. They sacrificed a lot for us and gave us the gift of education, which helped us get a leg up on life.

My wife and I both grew up in tiny apartments, saw the struggle of our parents, and learned to make do with less. We witnessed the stress and arguments over money, and had to be careful with our spending. We didn't buy fancy products or food, and often had to make do with whatever we could afford. We ate spoiled produce, asked for a cup of water along with our $1 McChicken at McDonald's, and never went on vacations or to the movies. We received second-hand clothes, toys, books, and school supplies. Our parents instilled in us the value of education, saving, grit, and discipline.

Eventually, our parents worked and saved up enough money to send us to college where we met. Today, my wife and I both work in high-paying fields, earning six-figure salaries, and we have a little one of our own. We live in a large house, and we don't have to worry about the price of eating out or buying groceries. We can afford high-quality items, but we still have deeply ingrained values of saving and working hard.

However, I am fearful of what this means for our children. They will grow up in an environment where they will never lack anything. We can afford to throw extravagant birthday parties with magicians and bounce houses. We can afford to replace our cars with Teslas. We can afford to hire a nanny, a house cleaner, and a landscaper. We can afford lounge access passes at airports, Disneyland fast passes, and flying business class.

We are afraid that our children will see this life as normal and expect nothing less. We don't want to raise our kids in a way that would make them spoiled and entitled. We want to instill the same values that our parents instilled in us, but we're not sure if it's possible given our lifestyle and neighborhood.

We know that artificially pretending that we can't afford things in order to show our kids the value of money can only work for so long. We want our children to be aware of the privileges they have but also have a sense of perspective.

We have talked to other parents who have been in a similar position, and their advice has been helpful. They suggested involving our children in volunteer work and service projects to show them that not everyone is as fortunate as they are. We plan to have conversations with our kids about the importance of hard work and how we came to be where we are today. We want them to understand that nothing comes for free and that we worked hard to get where we are.

Another suggestion was to have our children earn money for their wants, instead of just buying them everything they ask for. We could give them an allowance and have them do chores or odd jobs around the house to earn money. This would help teach them the value of money and the importance of working for what they want.

Lastly, we plan on setting boundaries with our children. We will not give them everything they want and make them earn the things they desire. We will also limit their access to technology and other distractions, so they can focus on things that are more important, such as education, relationships, and experiences.

In conclusion, we understand the challenges that come with raising kids who have never had to struggle financially. We want to instill the same values that our parents instilled in us and teach our children the importance of hard work, discipline, and saving.

I'm curious to hear from others who have been in a similar situation. Have you been able to raise your children to appreciate the value of money despite having more than you did growing up? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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