Is it wrong for me to tell my friend to move her wedding date?

Modern Parent

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=3BliGt_0mBklRY000
Photo byPhotos by LantyonUnsplash

My college friend recently asked me to be in her bridal party. We were once very close, even roommates for two years, but since I moved to a new city with my partner, we’ve grown somewhat apart. We still talk once or twice a month for an hour at a time, so it wasn’t a surprise when she asked me to be in her bridal party. I wouldn’t have been offended if she left me out since I’m not as close to her as I once was.

My friend got engaged a few weeks ago and called me and the other bridesmaids asking if we could make an October wedding work because her dream venue had a cancellation. I know how much she’s wanted this venue for a while, so I agreed to help speed up the planning.

But here’s where things get complicated: her fiancé’s twin brother got married just before the pandemic, and his wife is due to give birth on the same day as my friend’s wedding at the venue in California. Both families would need to take a plane to get there, but her fiancé’s family has been urging her to move the wedding away from the SIL’s due date. It’s unclear how her fiancé feels, but I do know that he was his brother’s best man at his wedding. Understandably, the twin has since withdrawn his commitment to be the best man at my friend’s wedding.

My friend doesn’t understand why the twin can’t just fly home if the baby comes during the wedding weekend. I’m not as close to her as I once was, but I still feel a responsibility as a bridesmaid to advise her. At the same time, I don’t want to damage our friendship. But, even if the SIL doesn’t go into labor that weekend, shouldn’t her husband be with her? My friend and I don’t see eye to eye on this, but it seems no one on her side has been vocal about the situation.

If I tell my friend that I think the wedding should be moved because of the conflict with the SIL’s due date, would I be in the wrong? I understand how much this venue means to her, but I don’t think starting her married life with her fiancé’s family on the wrong foot is the best move. Can I advise her gently or offer a compromise?

Read full story in "NewsBreak" App
# wedding# marriage# friendship# relationships# family

This is original content from NewsBreak’s Creator Program. Join today to publish and share your own content.

Comments / 56

Published by

Parenting publication

New York City, NY
15K followers

More from Modern Parent

My husband and I adopted a child, and I learned we have incompatible parenting approaches

As a parent, I feel completely lost and helpless. My partner and I have been tasked with raising a child who has experienced difficult times and has been living with us for the past 2.5 years. Before this, the child lived with another family in a different state. Neither of us had any prior experience with parenting, so we are learning on the fly. It has not been easy.

Read full story
48 comments

Our Preteen Son Has Anger Management Issues That Make Me Feel Powerless

It's been a rough day in my household. My stepson, who's 14 years old, and his 12-year-old brother were playing on the PlayStation, which they have allotted time to use. The older one wanted to play a game alone with his friends, but his younger brother wanted to join in, causing a tug of war with the controller. I decided to call their mother to mediate since she makes the final decision regarding the PlayStation. However, my stepson hit his brother out of frustration, and that's when things started going downhill.

Read full story
1 comments

Should I be expected to give gifts to extended family members who have never done the same for my family?

I feel torn about what to do for my niece's graduation. On one hand, I want to congratulate her and celebrate her achievement, but on the other hand, I don't want to give a gift to her family who has never reciprocated my family's gifts or even remembered our children's birthdays. It's frustrating to feel like we're not important enough for them to remember, yet they expect us to remember and celebrate their milestones.

Read full story
49 comments

My Son Has Been Exhibiting Questionable Behavior

I recently noticed a disturbing trend in my son’s behavior, and I am feeling extremely disappointed and helpless. My little boy has always been an easy-going child, but over the past few weeks, he’s been acting like a grump. I can't point to any significant changes in our life that might be causing this. Nevertheless, there are a couple of issues that have been bothering me.

Read full story
130 comments

I can't protect my son and feel like a failure of a mother

I feel like such a failure as a mother. Despite my best efforts, I can't seem to protect my son from the constant turmoil and pain that life throws at him. Even though his father was never there for us and left us to fend for ourselves when we were sick, my son still loves him and visits him once or twice a month. I can't help but wonder if that has affected him in some way.

Read full story
6 comments

I'm worried I'll be raising a spoiled child

Growing up, my parents and my in-laws had a similar story. Both sets of parents were first-generation immigrants who came to the United States with nothing and worked their way up through odd jobs and restaurant work. They sacrificed a lot for us and gave us the gift of education, which helped us get a leg up on life.

Read full story
6 comments

My dad had an affair with his co-worker, and he wants me to act as if nothing happened

It was around the middle of August when my father (M50), started talking about one of his coworkers. Her name was Sarah (F32), and at first, it seemed like nothing much to me. He talked about how she was always willing to help out at work and how she was good at her job. But as time passed, I started to get a sense that something was off. I could see it in the way he talked about her, the way he would look at his phone when she texted him. I didn't say anything, but I knew.

Read full story
46 comments

I'm in my 40s and I still hate my childhood teachers

I'm in my 40s and I feel like I need to get something off my chest. I've never told anyone the full story and I feel like I'm about to burst. When I was growing up, I wasn't a "bad" kid, but I was troubled. I had been abandoned by both parents and was bounced around different group/foster homes. I was sent to juvie a few times for things like fighting and running away. Despite being in an environment where drugs were prevalent, I was never into drugs because I was too anxious and controlling to voluntarily lose control. I was also an introverted bookworm, so reading and hiding behind a book usually meant people left me alone. I had a lot of anger and fear that I didn't know how to process, which resulted in running away.

Read full story
13 comments

It hurts that someone who has disrespected me has access to my child

As a new mom at 26 years old, I’ve been struggling to navigate the difficulties that come with postpartum life, particularly when it comes to my boyfriend’s mother. While I was pregnant, I had to stop taking some of my medications, which made my mental health take a hit. Unfortunately, my boyfriend's mother's behavior didn't help either. She became increasingly overbearing and rude towards me. I didn't want to make things worse, so I distanced myself from her, but it seems like this decision has backfired.

Read full story
75 comments

My ex-husband recently had a daughter and I wonder if I'm being taken advantage of to take care of her?

My husband and I have been caring for my ex-husband's 3-month-old daughter after he was involved in a domestic dispute with his current wife, whom we'll call Nancy, resulting in her being punched in the face and getting a black eye. Despite the tumultuous history between my ex-husband and I, we have a blended family and co-parent our two kids (18 and 14), while my husband and I have a 12-year-old child together. We spend holidays, weekends, and vacations together as a family. My ex-husband's behavior was one of the reasons I left him, and I assumed he had dealt with it too, until this incident with Nancy. She pressed charges, and he admitted to his actions, which led to CPS getting involved. When Nancy asked if we could care for the baby, we agreed, and my ex-husband and Nancy are allowed to see the baby under certain conditions.

Read full story
291 comments

I feel like I've been living with a roommate from hell

Over the last two years, I have been living with an unbearable roommate who threatens my cat and forbids me from using any of her belongings, including half of the kitchen counter. She has never cleaned the apartment and constantly monitors me, filming everything I do and sending me pictures of what she considers to be "trash." She cooks at odd hours, making the entire apartment smell like burnt oil. She even threatened me with false accusations when I wanted to bring a friend over.

Read full story
28 comments

The Emotional Toll of Dealing with an Overstepping MIL

I am married to an amazing man for 5 years now, and we have a 2-year-old son together. We are excitedly waiting for our unborn daughter's arrival later this year. However, my mother-in-law has always been a problem in our relationship. She is from a military family and has a Japanese cultural background, while I was raised on a farm in Idaho. We have had cultural differences, but my husband and I have built a happy life despite that.

Read full story
13 comments

Unable to Set Boundaries with Mom Who Smokes Near My Baby

I live in a foreign country with my partner and our 18-month-old daughter, and my relationship with my mother has been difficult. Due to her own mistakes in motherhood with me, I tried to set boundaries when she came to visit during my pregnancy, but she refused to respect them.

Read full story
31 comments

Am I a bad daughter because I refuse to help with my mom's backyard chores?

I have been living on my own for over a decade and haven't relied on my mother for financial support during that time. However, every year, she expects me to drive four hours to her house to manage her garden without ever checking if I'm available or have the time to do so. Instead, she orders me to do it, saying things like "Need your help with the garden."

Read full story
87 comments

My boyfriend told his mom we were moving in together, and she has been giving me the silent treatment since then

My boyfriend and I told his mother that we were going to move in together, and she did not take it well. She was upset that he wouldn't be buying a house for the two of them, as she had planned to retire with him. She has been giving me the silent treatment ever since, and even when I greet her, she just walks right past me.

Read full story
198 comments

Without telling me, my husband helped my rude mother-in-law move next door for my "protection"

So my mother-in-law planned on moving in next to us, and my husband did it behind my back. He helped her move in and helped her find the place without me knowing. They both hid it from me and when I confronted both of them, they said, "It was for my protection" as if they were looking out for me and trying not to hurt me.

Read full story
141 comments

My husband wants me to be a stay at home mom, but I don't know if I can do it

As I prepare to head back to work tomorrow after my two-month maternity leave, I'm feeling conflicted. I have an incredible WFH job that I've had for almost a year, but now that my son is here, I'm not sure I can manage both work and motherhood. My job requires full-time work and meeting daily productivity goals, which can take all day, and involves critical thinking.

Read full story
5 comments

My son is making fun of other people and I don't know what to do

Yesterday, my 16-year-old daughter walked to pick up her 12-year-old brother from school. My son's school is in our neighborhood, while my daughter's bus stop is close to his school (about 2 blocks from our house). When she came home, she was extremely upset and immediately started calling her brother a terrible person and saying she hates his friends. She told me that there was a little boy who had just had his hair done in braids and was walking with two of his friends, minding their own business in front of my son and his friend group when they started talking unkindly about this boy's hair. They made fun of it, saying his hair looked like snakes and he needed a new hairdo, among other things. My daughter said the kid looked embarrassed and sad, so she yelled for them to be quiet and leave the kid alone. The boy was maybe two years younger than them.

Read full story
20 comments

I deal with terrible and snarky teenagers every day and honestly I think their parents need to do better

I work in a high school cafeteria, which keeps me busy with prepping, cooking, serving, and cleaning. It's not as fast-paced or as high-pressure as a restaurant, but it still requires a lot of hard work. Shout out to all the professional kitchen staff out there!

Read full story
249 comments

Comments / 0

Community Policy