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44 Ridiculous Brags From More Experienced Parents You Should Be Suspicious About

Modern Parent

44 Ridiculous Brags From More Experienced Parents You Should Be Suspicious About; Kristina God; Christmas photo created by gpointstudio

Onthe whole, new parents often feel like they have no clue what they’re doing. Oftentimes, parenting looks very different in reality than what had been imagined. One might think it’s a pity that babies don’t come into the world with a manual. Therefore, it’s not surprising that self-help books begin to pile up on new parents’ tables like laundry.

In addition, they tell more experienced parents about their mental load, their failures and ask for advice, longing for nothing more than affirmations and helpful tips. Unfortunately, what they hear then doesn’t always make it any better. In some cases, it makes it even worse.

Everybody else gets it right, only we’re failing?

As a new parent, you may well have the feeling you can’t manage anything anymore. Meanwhile, the more experienced parents may tell you how brilliantly things are going for them! How lucky they are with their child! How much patience and consistency they have.

Hearing these stories can often make you feel that things are better with others. Therefore, you may start to question your parenting style as a whole: What are we doing wrong? Everybody else gets it right, only we’re failing?

However, it would be wise to be a little bit cynical. When you next hear one of the following sentences, a little suspicion may be in order.

Since parents need a to-do list for almost everything, here’s a…

List of unhelpful phrases from supposedly more experienced parents

  1. I enjoy every second of breastfeeding.
  2. Fortunately, he slept through the night very early.
  3. We really only use the pacifier for putting him to bed.
  4. He can already play on his own very well.
  5. The parenthood gig is completely fulfilling.
  6. We always take turns getting up at night.
  7. It’s wonderful. We’re together as a family all the time.
  8. I really wanted a natural birth, but unfortunately, the C-section had to be.
  9. I wanted to fully enjoy the birth experience and therefore refused the epidural. It was worth it.
  10. Actually, we’re lucky. His poop smells pleasant.
  11. He sleeps in his bed, all alone. And he likes it.
  12. My husband and I share the load: day and night.
  13. I enjoy playing with my baby every second.
  14. Poor you. Our relationship has become even stronger. We don’t yell at each other and are never moody.
  15. I don’t mind not drinking alcohol because of breastfeeding. I don’t need alcohol at all.
  16. He almost never cries.
  17. He’s rarely upset.
  18. Our instinct tells us what to do.
  19. Our baby drew this picture all by himself.
  20. My baby knows that I remain consistent.
  21. This scratch on my face? Oh, that’s from the cat.
  22. Oh, this hickey is from my husband.
  23. His face is the perfect mix of daddy and me, don’t you think?
  24. I didn’t have to diet or exercise to get in shape again.
  25. When he eats his puree, he no longer needs his bib.
  26. Our baby doesn’t use his hands. He already eats by himself with a fork and spoon.
  27. He doesn’t eat puree. He already eats baked vegetables from the oven or food from the kitchen table.
  28. I sleep well.
  29. He already listens to us very well.
  30. He loves to bathe and dive underwater.
  31. Oh, I already had dark patches under my eyes before getting pregnant and giving birth.
  32. It’s a pity I didn’t know sooner — being a parent is simply a huge joy!
  33. We should have had children earlier.
  34. He’ll taste and eat everything.
  35. With us, the food doesn’t end up on the floor but in his mouth.
  36. You’ll figure it out… someday.
  37. We don’t need a to-do list. It’s manageable and all in our heads.
  38. Breastfeeding is a gift. I wouldn’t want to give him the bottle.
  39. Hair-pulling? No, that’s my new trendy haircut.
  40. Education starts on day one.
  41. I can go to the toilet alone.
  42. To be honest, I think we’ve cracked it.
  43. It’s wonderful. When he takes a nap, I can read a new novel or just relax.
  44. It takes a village to raise a child? As far as we’re concerned, we manage everything on our own and don’t need the help of the family.

With a baby, nothing is set in stone.

These are just a few of the comments I’ve heard and hear from other parents.

In the early months of parenthood, most of us are wading through self-doubt and uncertainty. Especially in the beginning, I often thought: ‘Since I’ve become a mom, I just can’t manage anything anymore.’ Now, as my baby has grown and with his first birthday right around the corner, I’ve had some time to rethink the first months. Searching for advice from others is not a bad thing, but you have to select whether the tips and tricks from possible ‘show master parents’ are lifting you up or bringing you down.

I think other parents are often well-meaning, mostly because a small victory is worth mentioning! But there are a few of these show-off parents whose purpose in life is to make you feel inadequate.

With a baby, nothing is set in stone. One night or week, he sleeps in. The next day, he’s waking up several times at night. Every day is different. That’s the beauty of raising children, whether in the early months or later.

Try to embrace the journey instead of looking for failures. You’re doing the best you can. And your baby is still alive. That’s a success story in itself.

My final comment: You’ll figure it out even if you have no clue.

Can you think of any other sentences you heard from more experienced ‘show master parents’? Or maybe you’ve spotted a couple of your own in the list?

Live🥳, love😘, and laugh😂!


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