My husband is trying to make me work

Modern Parent

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My husband wants me to work, but if I work full time, and I have a job that makes twice the minimum wage ($15/hr), and after taxes and childcare I would only bring in $400–500 a month.

But he’s so adamant about me working. He doesn’t want to be the only provider. It just seems ridiculous for me to be away from my child that much for a measly $400. If it was more, I wouldn’t mind, but it’s ridiculous. That’s like me getting paid $2.50 an hour to be away from my child…

Like I get it. It’s a lot to ask someone to take care of you and your child financially but it’s $400–500. I could easily make that on the side. But he’d expect me to make that on the side, and then also work.

I don’t know what to say to him.

I have goals and dreams. I want to go to nursing school, and I want to become a nurse practitioner later on as well. I’m halfway through my degree. If I become a practitioner after being an RN for a while, I would make 6 figures where I’m from.

But he doesn’t want to be the “only provider”. And in his brain, he’s so focused on the now. NOW he would be providing everything. Even if someday I bring in $70k more than him; it doesn’t matter. Because he has to support me and the baby on his own NOW.

I feel like this marriage closed all doors of opportunity for me. He wants me to work, so I will I guess, and it will only be a few hundred a month, and I won't be able to go to college as well, as it will be too much to work 40 hours, parent alone when he’s gone (military), and study. But if I didn’t have to work (and for $4–500 a month) then maybe I could follow my dreams like he did, and I could provide so we can be comfortable later.

Maybe I’m just bitter. 

Maybe I’m in the wrong.

I’m just jealous sometimes. He went into the military and I gave up everything for him… moving across the country, leaving friends, leaving family, having free childcare from my parents, going to college, following my dreams, my aspirations.

I don’t want to lose myself to a marriage and then never go to college because my husband isn’t willing to support me when I go to school. So someday I can bring in money. And so someday I can feel fulfilled in a career I’m passionate about

What do I do?

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