I think My Son and His Girlfriend Have Broken Up and I Need Advice

Modern Parent


My son, who just turned 18, and his girlfriend have been together since August 2019. Their relationship seems to have had very few problems and they are both good kids. I am fond of his girlfriend. She’s sweet and they both have similar interests: love spending time outside together and going on adventures and everything. It’s his first relationship, and I’m happy that it’s been a good one. She’s pretty close to our family, too. We actually had her over for dinner and to watch the Super Bowl a couple of weeks ago, and she does dance with my daughter.

Last month, my son told me that her parents were likely separating and she was going through a tough time. We talked about it and he’s been trying to help her as best he can, whether it’s giving her space or just doing something together fun to put her mind off of it. But recently, I’ve noticed something changing in my son’s behavior. Whether it’s related to his relationship or not, I don’t know and I’m not sure it’s my business. However, since our family has grown to know his girlfriend quite well and we really care about her well-being, too, it seems unusual that he barely mentions her these days. He’s been pretty quiet and not himself. My husband’s picked up on it, too.

I understand that this is not my relationship. My husband and I have tried to inquire (just casually) about the whereabouts of his girlfriend, but he says she’s busy or doing (insert activity).

I knew they are heading off to different colleges and would likely break it off before college, but of course I’d be sad if they were done now. Anytime a relationship ends it’s sad. That said, I want the best for them both. It’s not my choice what they do. I just want to be there for my son. Maybe they’re taking a break. He’s pretty close to both of us, so maybe he’ll talk when he’s ready. Maybe it’s nothing. I would never look through his phone, but is there a way that I can bring up a conversation with him that won’t annoy him and just let him know I’m there for him if he wants to talk/go into detail/ask for advice? Or should I just wait?

Surprised I’m even asking this. I should know how to deal with this, but I’m just looking for any new takes and comfort. Not going to lie, I will be sad if they have broken up and am curious what happened. I know it’s a high school relationship, but from my view, it just came out of the blue. I truly want the best for them both, and I hope nothing bad happened. It will be a little tricky since my daughter and his girlfriend are good friends, too, but hopefully it will all work out.

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