Setting Boundaries With a New Baby

Modern Parent

We have a new, beautiful addition to our family who is almost 3 months old. She is our first, and we are still trying to figure out how to be parents and how our baby operates.

We live in a different state than most of our family; when the baby was born, we had many different people visit. (Don’t worry, we followed Corona protocol). In the first round, we had 4 different family members come, all separately. We had to pick each one up from the airport, and it was such a struggle with the baby.

The airport is 1.5 hours away, and a three hour round trip car ride was so so so hard. And no one seemed to care. But whatever, after a few weeks, the family stuff was over, and I moved on.

Then a few weeks ago, everyone that had visited us reached out again and asked to come to visit again. Like what the heck you were just here.

I am extremely annoyed because, once again, they are all asking me to pick them up from the airport. Since I am currently on maternity leave, everyone thinks I’m not busy. I barely have time to shower, like how do I have time to drive three hours to get you? Additionally, my husband works and can’t pick anyone up.

Also, they all stay with us when they visit. Which was fine the first time, but now it’s so overwhelming. Because they all want to hold the baby and then she misses nap time and gets cranky. They also want to use our cars and be entertained and eat at good restaurants. Since they are traveling to get here, they are treating it as a vacation.

Don’t get me wrong; I love to share the baby with our family! But I feel like there is so much is expected from me as a mother, and no one seems to care about how their requests for a ride, entertainment, and a place to crash are literally the hardest things for me to do right now.

I’ve also asked them to get an Uber. They all said no.

How do you deal with family when you have a new baby? How do you draw boundaries?

Please help.

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