First Date Topics to Avoid

Missy Crystal

Wait until you know each other better to discuss certain topics.

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Don't overshare on your first datePhoto by Jep Gambardella from Pexels

A whopping 84% of American women say that a great personality is more important than looks, and 69% of men agree. That’s why first dates are so important. If you come across as rude, obnoxious, or insecure, you may scare off potential partners before your romance has a chance to develop.

Enjoy a first date filled with captivating conversations by avoiding these 4 controversial topics:

1) Cyber creeping

There’s nothing wrong with checking your date’s court records before you agree to meet up, but avoid sharing your findings during the date. The same goes for information that you gleaned from a Google search or several hours of Facebook stalking.

When your date mentions where they work or tells you they come from a big family, a response like, “Yeah, I saw that on Facebook. Love that beach pic from spring break, by the way!” is just weird.

2) Exes

Nobody wants to hear about your ex during a first date, at least not in detail. It doesn’t matter whether things ended amicably or your ex ruined your life after the breakup. Don't say too much about your previous relationships unless your date asks for specifics.

If that happens, it’s okay to give a brief explanation, like, “We were married for 5 years and have 3 amazing children together, but we decided to part ways a few years ago. But enough about that - tell me more about you. What’s your favorite Netflix series?”

3) Financial information

Many men and women like to know that a date can pay their own bills and won’t mooch off of them for rent or other expenses. With that in mind, it’s fine to mention that you have a stable source of income, such as from a full-time job or a business that you own. However, don’t delve too deep into your financial situation or share the figure that you usually list on your annual tax return.

If your income is higher than average, you may come across as conceited or attract people who are only interested in your money. However, a very low income may also be a red flag for some potential partners. Money talk can cause problems either way, so it's best to hold off on financial conversations in the beginning.

4) Medical history

As you connect with your date over coffee or tacos, you may be tempted to share your full medical history. Just remember that your date is not a counselor or physician — and even if they are, they aren’t your personal healthcare provider.

Avoid sharing major details about chronic medical conditions or recent illnesses until you know your partner better, as oversharing too soon can be viewed as trauma dumping. However, if you have a communicable disease and agree to become intimate during your first date, you should disclose some info first.

First dates can be scary. Your physical, mental, and emotional traits are on display for another person, and they get to use this information to decide whether they want to see you again. Increase your chances of landing a second date with someone special by sticking to interesting yet safe topics during your initial meeting.

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Full-time mom, student, and writer. I cover everything from parenting and personal finance to relationships and health.

O Fallon, MO
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