Fighting Change Is Stopping You From Being Yourself


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Nature continually shows us how change is the only constant factor. In the cycle of life, the seasons, day and night, everything is in motion, in an endless dance of life and rebirth.

If we know that everything around us is changing, from your cute little garden to the expansive and quite scary universe, why oppose it? Spirituality is about accepting how everything works, yes, but it doesn’t mean you should be stubborn about it.

Just turn on your TV or read the news: it is easy to see how the world is continually changing: wars, terrorism, climate change, corruption, political crises, COVID… everything continues to flow, change, grow, without stopping, in a constant process of creation and destruction. But how does your mind react to this? The fear of change is something very common among people anywhere in the world, it’s even got a name: Metathesiophobia (try pronouncing that first thing in the morning). However, does it make sense to fear change? Is it really such a big deal that everything is in motion?

The universe is in a flux that does not stop, you can try to swim in the opposite direction but that will not get you anywhere (unless you’re a salmon. Salmon rocks!) Not only that but, whether you want it or not, your mind, your body, your energies are constantly changing. If you keep refusing to change, you will not be able to continue being yourself, because your energies have already changed. When do you plan to do it?

Change is necessary and we must accept it to be more like who we are.

You won’t always be what you are

As the 6th century, Chinese sage Lao Tzu says in his Tao Te Ching: the only thing that remains is change.

This statement, which seems very simple, in practice is something very difficult for a person to accept, it is very easy to end up stuck in trying to keep everything in its place, which is basically a dead end. Where does this fear of change and this obsession to fight against it come from? Have you ever wondered?

The answer is in our own nature. The “I am” acts as a filter for the experiences of the Self, projecting an image of its own that, apparently, remains unchanged over time, as a single observer of what happens around it.

Every reaction of your mind, every response to any stimulus, including the fear of change we are talking about, will be conditioned by the heavy burden of that apparent observer: your fears, your prejudices, your dreams, your possessions, everything you think you are, revolving around the idea of ​​”I am this, I am that.”

The “I am” seems immobile, it makes us see ourselves as an immovable, immutable, and constant objects when in reality we are part of a process, a flow, a journey.

Starting from this base, it is easy for the fear of change to arise, since all our personal story is based on the past, on memory. To maintain its identity, the “I am” needs a very powerful and subtle tool: time.

Faced with both internal and external stimuli, the response will always be based on past experiences or future projections, because only there the continuity of the “I am” will be assured. And of course, that story is an inexhaustible source of conflict and suffering, since any change represents a threat to the past.

But the reality is very different from all this. Here and now there is no such thing as “I am” because life is new, the world is born before your eyes spontaneously. Everything changes, everything moves, and the old “I am” will not be able to remain forever. Its death is inevitable and is closer than you imagine.

Change is your true nature

The fear of change is born from something unreal, from an idea. If you are able to see beyond your own fear, you will see that change is not a bad thing, nor is it a threat, but quite the opposite: it is your own nature.

Observe without judgment, here and now, everything around you, including the “I am”. You will see that everything is in constant motion, including your idea of ​​yourself. Depending on the external stimuli, you will project a different image, you will even adapt your personal story based on the role that you play at each moment. How can you show you are the same person as a year ago? And a moment ago? You simply can’t, because your own idea of ​​yourself is continually changing, as is the rest of the observable world.

For this reason, the fear of change ceases to make sense the moment you begin to observe the world without judging it, here and now. Embrace change as your own nature and you will be removing all limits. Let the world be born and unfold before you, without struggle and without judgment. Accept the impermanence of things and live spontaneously, without pre-established ideas, without fear.

Abandon the heavy burden of your personal story and let life manifest itself fully, in this eternal instant and in the limitless consciousness that is your true self.

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Mindsmatter is written by Bola Kwame, Jack Graves and Emma Buryd. De-stigmatizing mental illness one day at a time.

New York, NY

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