For some reason, mothers think they have the right to offer parental advice to anybody who is raising their child, at any stage. Instead of letting mom figure out and or trust their intuition, they interrupt the process by saying this or that which ends up leaving mom confused and unable to follow her process of being a mother. Here are 10 of the most common pieces of unwanted parental advice.
10. Are you sure you want to leave the house looking like that?
I can imagine that if you are reading this you have a mirror in your house and you also have two eyes. This means that yes, you have probably already seen yourself in the mirror before leaving your home. This question should never be asked.
9. Should you be eating that?
What a mom eats is none of your business. The “bouncing back” body should also be just eliminated from people’s mind, especially a mom. Unless they are asking for nutrition guidance maybe you can refer her to someone but asking this question is probably not going to help- at all. Food can be a huge trigger for many mothers so be careful how you use your words because something so simple to you could potentially bring a mother down in a matter of seconds.
8. Cherish this moment... you will miss it someday.
And we will miss it when we get to that day. Not all moments are to be cherished. Some are but others are just moments of despair and that’s okay. As mothers, we are here to learn along with our children. We’ve never done this before. It’s all new even with multiple children. So it’s okay if we don’t cherish every single moment.
7. Formula is poison.
Liquid gold is best! – Honestly, there is no right or wrong. Moms need to do what works for them. You mom, are in control of how you decide to feed your baby and you shouldn’t be shamed or pressured by anybody to do something you don’t feel like doing. Fed is best!
6. Are you really going back to work and not stay at home?
Staying at home or going back to work is up to mom and only mom. Sometimes for many there is no option; they HAVE to go back to work even if they wanted to stay at home. Let’s stop overbearing parents with these right or wrong decisions. Sometimes the decision is based on what needs to be done, not what they want to do.
5. You are going to spoil your baby if you hold him too much.
Holding your baby is comforting for them. Holding your baby is security and safety for them. You are not going to spoil them because you held them too much. When they are ready, they will no longer ask you to hold them but in the meantime, YOU are their comfort and their safety and no one else can give them that.
4. I think he's hungry.
“When his hand is closed and put into a fist that means he’s hungry. You should feed your baby.” It’s not applicable to every baby nor to every situation. You will get to know when you baby is hungry. You will get to know your baby day by day and as time goes by, you’ll even know what his hungry cry sounds like. Do not be pressured to feed your baby if you know he’s not hungry.
3. Shouldn't he be walking by now?
Yes, milestones are important, but every child goes at their own pace. Some take months less than others and vice versa and this is very normal and okay too. Stressing a mother out because their child still does not use complete sentences at two and a half years old is not going to help. Telling her the child should be walking by now is not going to help that child walk.
2. Don’t use pacifiers, they will mess up their dental structure.
Unless you are there to help a mom out 24/7 or when baby is crying (probably a large percentage of the time) then please refrain from saying they don’t need a pacifier, especially by manipulating and worrying mom about their child’s future dental problems.
1. Stop complaining, some can’t even get pregnant.
No one is saying that people don’t have a hard time getting pregnant but that’s not that mom’s reality. She is struggling to manage, and she will sometimes complain. It’s normal. She was a new world of responsibilities. If you don’t want to hear her complain, then maybe you should stay away from her a while although I encourage you to support her and be by her side when she complains because that is a cry for help. It’s when she is needing most help. She might not admit it or ask for help but that’s clearly what she needs.