How to Ask for Help during Postpartum

Michelle Jones

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A new mother is born

As a new mom, we are held responsible for so many things and we think we can manage what we were used to in addition to every other hundred duties when you have just given birth. You are trying to care for your newborn, yet you forget that your first need to care for yourself in order to care for your baby.

I understand that it’s not always easy. Especially adding COVID into the mix. It’s harder than ever to get support in postpartum. Everything is virtual. Everything is distanced. Leading to more isolation and overwhelm for the postpartum parent. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, it’s not easy! You are navigating parenthood through incredibly challenging times!

Even despite these circumstances, asking for help isn’t always easy. We aren’t sure who to ask, how to ask, or what to ask for help with. We are worried that having someone else step in to help will be more difficult than just doing it ourselves. Why? Because it feels like no one is going to do it the right way like we do. However, it is important that we let go of control so that we can have some control in the other areas of our life. You need to lower of or let go your expectations and let the days pass by one by one so that you can really enjoy these first few months with your family.

So how can we let go of control?

Plan it out! Before you ask for support, it’s often helpful to identify what you need. Make a list of things that need to be done with the baby or around the house. Once you plan in out and list all of the things that need to be done, then you can ask for specific tasks to be met.

The question you should be asking yourself before getting support is:

“What am I in need of most?”

Here are some examples:

Do you need more sleep or restorative sleep?

Household support such as dishes, laundry, cooking, etc.…?

What about your mental/emotional health support?

Connection? Are you in need of someone to hug you or maybe an adult conversation other than diapers and poop?

Nourishing food will give you more energy. Is this something you need to prioritize? Do you need someone to run to the grocery store and buy you what you need?

Feeding baby support is a MUST. Whether you decide on formula or to breastfeed you might need orientation and help. A lactation consultant perhaps or help with bottle feeding.

What may seem obvious

It may seem like these would be obvious because we are so used to just doing everything ourselves, but the truth is when we have a baby to care for, we forget about all of the small things we used to do. We are daily consumed with the challenges of feeding, operating on baby’s schedule, running on fumes, trying to handle different situations all at once that sometimes we actually just need to stop and take a moment to find what is it that we really need. The inconvenience will not be for that someone you are asking for help or support, but it will be for you if you decide to do everything on your own - because you can’t. Remember there is nothing wrong with having a helping hand you just need to find the right people who you know will help out.

You are not being selfish; you are just asking for what you really need in that moment and that is a sign of strength.

Stay well and healthy mama,

Michelle

@mamastay_healthy

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Every mom has her struggles and I know how hard it can be lacking the support a mama needs to keep pushing. This is why I'm devoted to write about the honest, unfiltered and the non-sugar coated side of Motherhood; the chaos, the beauty and the blowouts. My intention is for moms and moms-to-be feel supported and empowered in order to thrive at Motherhood one step at a time. I share what has worked and works for me to make it easier for them. It's all about Honest Motherhood.

San Antonio, TX
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