The Day Aliens Came to the White House

Matthew Donnellon

Photo by Louis Velazquez on Unsplash

*a work of fiction

The President woke up at 4:30 like usual.

President Xavier Crosse spent the next hour working out. He used to box in the morning, but the Secret Service wouldn’t let anyone touch him so he stuck to weights and the treadmill.

After the gym, he spent at least 15 minutes under the hot water in the shower. He really didn’t need to be there long, in fact it went against his habits developed in the military.

But, it was the only time he’d be alone all day so he learned to enjoy the few minutes where someone wasn’t handing him papers.

A bit later, he was putting on a suit. He sat there for a second trying to decide whether or not to wear the red one or the blue. He knew whatever he chose half the people would hate it. He picked the blue one after flipping a coin in his head.

Before too long he was in the Oval Office. He read his Presidential Daily Briefing, for once it looked like it would be a calm day. But, he’d thought that before and then before lunch the world would be embroiled in some new crisis.

He met with domestic advisors, and military officials, as well as a dozen other people that needed his attention for one reason or another.

Luckily, as a second term president he didn’t have to spend half the day with campaign advisors and party officials. For the first time since he’d been elected he felt like he could actually get some things done.

Sometime in the afternoon, his secretary said that there was someone there to meet him but he wasn’t on the schedule. He thought that was strange as usually his day was booked to the minute, but if he’d gotten this far without a Marine tackling him it must be okay.

He told her to send him in.

A tall, athletic looking man walked in.

“President Crosse,” he said.

“Please call me Xavier.”

“I’d prefer to keep it formal.”

“Oh? Suit yourself. What brings you here?”

“I landed and I said take me to your leader and here I am.”

The President doubled over in laughter. “I’ll admit that was a good one. I haven’t laughed like that in years. I needed that.”

“I’m afraid I’m not kidding.”

“What now?”

“This is important. I suggest we take a seat.”

“Are you telling me what to do? May I remind you who you’re talking to.”

The man took a chair next to the President’s desk, and motioned for the leader of the free world to take his seat. “Sir, I am trying to be nice, but you are no longer in charge and if I wished I could snap my fingers and level this building.”

“Did you just threaten the President of the United States?”

“No, I’m merely trying impose on you how important this visit is.”

“I think it’s time you left.”

“By all means please hit the panic button in your right drawer.”

That threw the President off, no one knew about that. But, he could have made an educated guess. He did and seconds later, the Chief of the President’s security detail as well as two more agent burst in through the room.

“Agent Dunlap please remove this man.”

“Yes sir.”

The strange man waved his hand and the two agents flew through the air hitting the fall and falling to the ground unconscious.

Then, the strange man looked at the Agent in Charge, “Sir, I think the President is safe. I think you will go through that door and tell everyone it was just a drill.”

“Okay,” and the agent left.

“I told you that you are no longer in charge. Sit down Mr. President.”

The president did as he was told.

“Who are you?” the president asked.

“I’m from a race that has been watching this planet for a long time.”

“How long?”

“My perception in time is different from yours but give or take a few thousand years.”


“Yes. We found the humans to be curious creatures and we wanted to observe you and see what became of the clever little apes.”

“And now why are you revealing yourself?”

“Oh well we’ve been looking to set up shop in this part of the universe and Earth would make the perfect outpost.”

“So you’re going to take over the planet?”

“More or less. This isn’t the first meeting like this I’ve had. I met one of your predecessors.”

“Which one?”

“General Washington.”

“You met George Washington?”

“Yes. He was rather convincing. He made good arguments for us to wait. And he was right. He was quite the man.”

“And why have you waited this long? I saw you take out two armed men without breaking a sweat. Surely you could take out the human race.”

“We might be able to, but our numbers are few. And we saw how you developed a taste for war and we had no interest in a prolonged conflict. You’re familiar with the movie Independence Day?

“Yes,” the president had to keep from laughing.

“We realized what a danger a united Earth would pose so we decided to take another approach.”

“You were really just afraid of Will Smith weren’t you?”

“I assure this isn’t a time to joke. I am here to give you a warning.”

“And that is?”

“If you play along and let us take the reigns you can keep your position. Your family will be safe and when the takeover is complete you will keep a high ranking position.”

“What position?”

“Governor of Earth. It can be a lifetime appointment.”

“Really? Did you make the same deal with Washington?”

“I did.”

“What did he say.”

“I believe the closest thing in modern parlance would be ‘to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.”

The president was impressed. He knew the man turned down becoming king. Turns out he turned down much more.

“You’ll never get away with it. We will put up a good fight.”

“I’m afraid you don’t realize how easy it is. We don’t need to fight. Control the right minds and the whole planet is on our hands. The head of banks, a few corporations, and some large landowners and it’s over.”

“That will never happen.”

“Oh,” the alien smiled, “I’m afraid you don’t understand. It’s already done. I’m just paying you a courtesy call.”

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Matthew Donnellon is a writer, artist, and sit down comedian. He is the author of The Curious Case of Emma Lee and Other Stories

Detroit, MI

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