Germ spreading season, er… I mean back to school time for Alachua County.

Matthew C. Woodruff
Germs(Az. State University)

Kids, you gotta love ‘em (and not just with a little BBQ sauce on the side.) Children are our future, or so I’ve heard. I wouldn’t really know as I don’t have any. Weirdly though, I still seem to catch their germs on a regular basis. Kids and germs go together like… (use your imagination and insert some other parasitic relationship here).

In Alachua County, the return to school is imminent. I mean like really close. As of my writing this, it is actually tomorrow, August 10th. Check your calendar because that may have been yesterday for you. Dozens of children crammed together in a small room with a closed-off ventilation system. None of them ever washing their hands, even after some possibly suspicious finger near nose activity. What could go wrong?

To be clear, I blame the parents, not the kids.

Anyway, studies show that children have an average of more than 47 contact hours a day with others. Now when I was in school, I remember the days feeling unending, but 47 hours? 47 hours is the sum of the durations of all contacts in one given day. You may be in contact with two people at a time, thus that’s two contact hours. (I know, ...math, sorry about that.)

This high number of contact hours is why your precious little bundles of runny-nosed somethings are high risk for contracting and spreading germs. How then can you minimize this effect of germ spreading? Stop having children would be one sensible precaution, but that train probably left the station already.

The answer, of course, is in the wisdom provided by Old Wives the world over:

Eat chicken soup.

Rub Vapor Rub on the feet and put on socks.

Take a spoon full of honey

Avoid exercise at all costs.

Avoid dairy (even ice cream).

Will these preventative and avoidance inducing tidbits of wisdom help? Probably not, but hey what do I know?

Happy Back to School Days!

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Matthew is a free-lance journalist, and an internationally award-winning author best known for Dark Humor/Lite Horror/Supernatural short stories. He is a lover of the unusual, travel, cats and the spark that makes people tick. Matthew is based in Florida, USA.

Gainesville, FL

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