Miami, FL

Satire: It seems God is a Miami Marlins fan.

Matthew C. Woodruff
Miami Marlins Logo(used with permission)

According to Marlin’s pitcher Daniel Castano when a line drive hit him in the head at 104 miles per hour during last Thursday’s game, he was saved from serious injury by his love for God. Castano was quoted on his Twitter account quoting Romans 8:28: “and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…”

According to the team manager, the ball first deflected off the bill of Castano’s ball cap.

God must be quite the baseball fan though to work such a miracle because during the same day around 25,000 people perished due to starvation, 1,670 Americans died of cancer, 5,700 people died in car accidents and in Oklahoma, 23 people died in flooding.

Using Castano’s logic, it could be these other people didn’t love God enough for him to save them, I suppose. Now I assume God is quite busy running the whole universe as he does so maybe he has to pick and choose whom he can work for the good of. Maybe there is a short list?
The Universe(Webb Telescope -shared by NASA)

It could be that, as according to Ecclesiastes 9:11: “The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, unforeseen circumstance befalls everyone.”

Could it be that Castano was just lucky, and all those other poor souls that day were just very unlucky, and God actually has nothing to do with it? To think God would pick one or some people to ‘bless’ over other people would be the epitome of narcissism, don’t you think?

Or perhaps as Journalist and Novelist Chuck Palahniuk once said, “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.” I guess Castano isn’t quite that boring yet.

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Matthew is a free-lance journalist, and an internationally award-winning author best known for Dark Humor/Lite Horror/Supernatural short stories. He is a lover of the unusual, travel, cats and people's souls. Matthew is based in Florida, USA.

Gainesville, FL

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