The US Government’s Hypothetical Plan For A Zombie Apocalypse

Matt Lillywhite

According to a document from the Department of Defense...

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Cartoon of a zombie eating brainsPhoto byWikimedia Commons

The US government has a hypothetical plan to defend the country from zombies. 

I’m serious. “Counter-Zombie Dominance Operations” is a plan created by the United States Department of Defense. It explains military strategies to prevent millions of zombies from eating the American public.

Let me explain…

The Rules Of Engagement Are Very Specific

“The only assumed way to effectively cause causalities to the zombie ranks by tactical force is the concentration of all firepower to the head, specifically the brain,” per the document. “The only way to ensure a zombie is ‘dead’ is to burn the zombie corpse.”

It’s worth noting that zombies are not subject to the Geneva Convention, per the military document. So, the United States military can kill zombies without any hesitation whatsoever. All the soldiers need is a little bit of dead-ication to the cause. Get it? Because zombies are the walking dead. 

Okay… I’ll stop with the dad jokes from this point onwards. 

Every phase of liberating the country from zombies is discussed throughout the document. For example, the United States will conduct zombie awareness training, recruit military personnel, and restore civil authority after neutralizing the threat.

All of this sounds good in theory. But what happens if the US military doesn’t have enough conventional firepower to annihilate the zombies? The answer is clear: “We will maintain emergency plans to employ nuclear weapons within (the continental United States) to eradicate zombie hordes.”

A Zombie Apocalypse Would Cause Civil Unrest Around The Country

The military document says evacuation orders will be implemented to save Americans from being eaten by zombies. “On orders from POTUS (the President) or SECDEF (Secretary of Defense), we will provide security to civilian areas and evacuation zones.”

But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Hidden toward the bottom of the document is something that many Americans will find highly inconvenient: 

“There may be times when Individual Healthy Humans (IHHs) will be forced to abandon other IHHs who are unable to evade sources of zombie contamination. Such situations could arise while IHHs are evacuating in the face of incoming zombie forces. IHHs must not be allowed to go back for family, friends, or other personnel who cannot get away from zombies quickly enough. All IHHs who fall behind must be left behind.”

The document from the Department of Defense also says mandatory quarantines will be enforced if anyone is suspected of being bitten by a zombie. And as we all know, the government telling people to stay at home has always gone well….

Here’s Why The US Government Is Planning For A Zombie Apocalypse

“Zombies are horribly dangerous to all human life,” according to the Department of Defense. “Zombie infections have the potential to seriously undermine national security and economic activities that sustain our way of life. Therefore having a population that is not composed of zombies or at risk from their malign influence is vital to US and Allied national interests.”

To me, it sounds like the US government would be annoyed if the public got turned into zombies. After all, they wouldn’t be able to pay taxes and do other things that sustain the economy (and the salaries of politicians in DC). All jokes aside, the US government’s plan for a zombie apocalypse is actually quite rational.

The document from the Department of Defense explains why…

“Training examples for plans must accommodate the political fallout that occurs if the general public mistakenly believes that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan.” Put simply, it would be awkward if someone leaked a hypothetical plan to invade Mexico, Canada, or any other country. So, the US Military uses zombies as an example during training — that could never be mistaken for a real plan.

Finally, the Department of Defense stated that the threat of a zombie apocalypse has been an excellent way to train new soldiers. “Because the plan was so ridiculous, our students not only enjoyed the lessons; they actually were able to explore the basic concepts of plan and order development (fact, assumptions, specified and implied tasks, references etc) very effectively.”

What do you think? Leave a comment with your thoughts. And if you think more people should read this article, share it on social media.

Authors note: All information provided in this article is publicly available and verified by government websites and mainstream media outlets. The document published by the Department of Defense can be found here.

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Matt Lillywhite publishes national news and local stories. He can be reached via email at Mattlillywhitenewsbreak@gmail.com

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